Donna Wonna 2.0, beta version

Wow, another year as passed.

2008-12-21T11:58:00.002-05:00

Well, it's been a little over a year and much has come about - our daughter Gracie is now almost 18 months old and is keeping us on our toes. There is so much to discover and learn with a little one... I never had any idea how joyful, hard, and growing parenthood could be. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband Jason, with whom I am learning these lessons and living life with hope and gratitude.

In other news, I have begun a new blog to share my newest interest: baking and cake decorating. I have actually begun doing some orders for others and am enjoying it immensely as an avenue for creativity and serving others. So feel free to stop by and try out some of these ideas/recipes yourself:

http://bakeitupbabynow.blogspot.com

Have a very merry Christmas!

Okay, okay, okay...

2007-12-03T19:56:00.000-05:00

So, it has come to my attention (thank you, Bradley) that I haven't updated my blog in almost a year. Truth be told, I have not made or had time to be online enough to maintain a blog... toward the end of my blogging era I was primarily blogging to keep up with friends, which I have been able to do through Facebook. (Alas, has Facebook made blogging obsolete? I will leave this debate for other more faithful members of the blogging community.) For the faithful to regularly check this blog, eagerly anticipating a new post (all two of you), I apologize for your disappointment. However, with a young baby in the house (who is currently crying for me in the other room), a husband to love and care for well, and trying to maintain face to face contact with my immediate community (a challenge in itself), I may have to forfeit future blogs until I am really motivated. If you want to keep in touch, please email me or leave a comment and I'd be glad to be in touch. Until then, thanks for checking in and have a great Christmas holiday season!

Guess who's going back to school??

2007-01-16T08:30:00.000-05:00

ME!! Thanks to a generous help from a Korean church in Chicago, both Donna and Jason will be going back to class this spring. WAHOO!! We're eagerly sharpening our pencils, carefully etching our names into our Trapper Keepers, fingering our new box of crayons, and reorganizing our backpacks in anticipation.

It's weird how a short respite from education can make you kind of miss it, in a masochistic kind of way. You almost forget the sleepness nights of pounding out an already-late 20+ pager on a topic you are struggling to understand, nodding off in the study room as you try to get through a dry chapter of textbook, and the frantic runs from your two or three jobs, running from the parking lot across campus, sliding into the classroom just in time to hear, "Please pull out a sheet of paper for a pop quiz on that particular chapter that you spent more time drooling on than actually reading." Ah yes - the joys of higher education.

But you know, there is something about being challenged in the classroom that excites and cultivates a love of learning, seeking answers to tough questions, and being challenged to think more on a topic that you may have dismissed because you simply hadn't been prompted to explore it before. You begin to find yourself reading informational books in your free time and having random meaningful discussions with your friends and family that could change your life or someone else's. A lifetime of learning is a life that is rich, interesting, and good for the mind and soul.

For those of you Southernites, we'll be taking late afternoon/evening classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We hope to see you all around - I apologize for crawling into a hole the last two months or so. The first trimester has been killer, with almost constant morning sickness which leaves one barely able to go to work (most days), come home, try to eat something without seeing it again, and falling into bed. However, next week begins the second trimester and we are hoping for a turn of the tide...

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying the brief break before classes begin again. Drop a line and let us know how you are doing. See you on campus!

While I was Gone...

2006-11-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

- Jason and I celebrated our 4th and 5th month anniversaries (we're not monthly celebrators that go all out, but they were noted and we praised God for His grace toward us)

- I've discovered that spending less time online has allowed more time to spend in prayer and meditation, with my husband, friends, family, and pursuing some lost hobbies and enjoyments. While there may be an occasional update here, you will probably see less of me than you once did.

- Jen was promoted to shift supervisor at her Starbucks store (okay, this may have happened earlier, but I haven't had a chance to congratulate her yet)... she is total barista material!

- Lisa is still serving/studying in England... and being mysterious (ahem). Check out her blog to see what she's been up to http://lisamcgary2005.blogspot.com

- One of my best friends (and maid of honor) Angela got engaged!

- Christine and her beau Mike got engaged - I can't believe I missed that whole drama! GAH! My one regret from leaving the blogosphere...

- Mike Ward and Beth Swearingen were married at a beautiful ceremony at Bernheim Forest... Jason and I were asked to be attendants and to celebrate with them

- My dad joined MySpace... now it's official. EVERYONE has an account.

- On Nov 6, Jason and I discovered that we are expecting our first child!

- We began to experience the joy and pain of pregnancy: mood swings, nausea, planning future, excitement of sharing the news with friends and family

- On Nov 23, we thought we lost our child to a miscarriage. Since it was the holiday weekend, no one could see us or tell us anything determinative until the following Monday. The holidays were heavy and full of grief, prayer, and struggling for hope.

- Yesterday, we were able to get an ultrasound... and we found that Baby Shaw is doing fine. He/she has a strong heartbeat, is implanted well, and looks like is developing great! It was almost too good to be true. Thank you so much for all of you who grieved with us, prayed with us, and encouraged us over the last week. Please continue to pray for the health of our baby as well as wisdom for us in the following months as we desire to walk in obedience to our Lord.

Pulling the Plug

2006-10-10T08:25:00.000-04:00

Contolling my internet usage has always been something that I've struggled with since the beginning of public access to the world wide web - I believe I was fifteen when I began using internet in our home. I have recently begun to realize the exhorbant amount of time I waste online... some things are really worthwhile (emailing friends, checking the news, etc), but for the most part it's a good portion of my day that I won't get back and very little fruit to show for it. Point in case: I just spent the last two hours adding photos to my Facebook account that probably no one will ever see.

Anyway, our Wed. night small group has agreed to commiting to forty days of intense prayer, outreach to those who don't know Christ and mutual building up of the body of Christ, and seeking to become more consistent in spiritual disciplines. I have decided during this time (beginning Thursday, Oct. 12) to discontinue using excessive internet use (except for email, news, or specific information - by grace, not by the law) so I can devote more time to prayer and meditation, as well as helping to realign priorities in regard to time and energy. I have definitely decided that I want to gain control of this area of my life. And so, this of course means that I will be refraining to use blogs, MySpace, Facebook, etc.

So farewell, internet community - if you would like to communicate with me, feel free to email or call. I also encourage you to join us in assessing the usage of your time, and see where you can refrain from some activities to seek the Lord, enjoy Him, communicate and meditate on Him. It's not a bad thing to unplug for a while.

Completing the Thought Because I'm Impulsive

2006-09-29T09:27:00.000-04:00

Ah, everyone knows that I can't resist anything that hints at being one of those cheesy surveys that gets passed around... I love them! The dear Nikki Daniel posted this one on her site. I liked her answers so much that I figured it couldn't hurt to share in the fun. Since hubby's away at the Desiring God conference, I have some extra time to kill. Here goes...

Complete the Thought:

Never again in my life: will I doubt my salvation

When I was five: I got car sick a lot.... wait, I STILL do. Dang it.

High School was: a series of inside jokes, band camp memories, first "gigs" on the guitar and attempts at songwriting, insecurities, questions, going to concerts, and homemade corduroy pants

I will never forget: the night I met my husband, Jason (what a hottie!)

I once met: Black Eyed Sceva, my favorite band in high school

There’s this girl I know who: loves turkey and cheese rollups (you KNOW who you are!)

By noon I’m usually: thinking about what I'm going to cook for dinner

Last night I: watched part of Mulan while packing a lunch for Jason and Joey on their way to Minneapolis

Next time I go to church: I need to remember to take overdue thank you cards to people

What worries me most is: my ablity to forget what is true and meditate on lies of my own heart

When I turn my head right, I see: Lisa's plants, mine and Jason's guitars, and the front door to our apartment

When I turn my head left, I see: a bookshelf, complete with the Calvin and Hobbes series, hymnals, textbooks, and one plant of Lisa's that is not going to survive until January when she gets back (sorry, Leese)

You know I’m lying when: I avoid eye contact and I start to mumble... Of course, I do this when I'm feeling insecure too... you can tell the difference because if I'm lying I usually have to confess it, and if I'm insecure I just stay quiet

If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd: probably be a lot more exciting

By this time, next year: I hope to be more in love with my husband, a greater friend and servant to those around me, a better cook, a diligent student, possess a greater understanding and application of the truth of the gospel in every aspect of my life

A better name for me would be: Kachucamunga-fandagio-hiccapoki... or Dot

I have a hard time understanding: how people can take a guy seriously who claims to be Jesus

If I ever go back to school I’ll: try harder to get things done on time

You know I like you if: I mention you on my blog :)

Three people who bore me are: hmm.... this is hard. I'm easily entertained, so there are few people who actually bore me. Three people whose voices I struggle to listen to for long periods of time (though I respect them): David Powlison, John Piper, and Beth Moore

Take my advice, NEVER: keep leftovers in the fridge that you didn't like them the first time around. You will just be digging them out looong after they have started to grow hair.

My ideal breakfast is: biscuits and gravy, eggs, and bacon... or pancakes and sausage... or breakfast burritos... or french toast and fried apples with eggs.... oh man, what is life without breakfast??

A song I love, but do not have is: any song by Jack Johnson

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: stopping by the Laker's drive in and getting a peanut butter milkshake or banana split (you can't miss it - the entirety of Stephensburg is on one road)

Why won’t anyone: comment on this blog entry?

If you spend the night at my house, DO: expect to be asked a million times if you are hungry or want some tea

The world could do without: money-hungry televangelists

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ...I honestly can't think of something I would want to do less than that

My favorite blonde is: the Huested girls- Lydia, Emily, and Hannah (our flowergirls)... or maybe their mom, Aleasha

Paperclips are more useful than: fruitcake - who the HECK eats that stuff?

San Diego means: Saint Diego, originally St. Didacus (I'm such a nerd, I looked this up)

I needed to be reminded...

2006-09-21T10:21:00.000-04:00

... of one of my favorite passages that gives an excellent summary of the Gospel we hope in and hope to live in. I memorized this passage before, but my memory had become hazy so I pulled it out again this morning, brushed it off, and am clinging to this truth today as I am asking the Lord to renew and transform my mind with this reality. Father, my hope is in Your Word - Your promises and Your self-defining truth.

"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived
and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.
We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,
he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done,
but because of his mercy.
He saved us through the washing of rebirth
and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,
so that, having been justified by his grace,
we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things,
so that those who have trusted in God may be careful
to devote themselves to doing what is good.
These things are excellent and profitable for everyone."
-Titus 3:3-8

Orange you glad you love Jesus?

2006-09-07T10:09:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head, except you can't remember all of the lines? I am currently experiencing such an occasion.

When I was in middle/high school, I was part of a puppet/clown ministry team in our church. We also performed at a few local nursing homes, some community outreach, and local parade (as clowns - I was a hobo named Patches). Anyway, we would perform one song in particular about the fruit of the spirit... except I can't remember all of it! It feels like when you have an itch right in the middle of your back where you can't scratch it, but instead it taunts you as it stays just out of reach. I have tried googling parts of the lyrics, only to no avail. I tried singing it out loud numerous times (poor Jason) only to get stuck in the same places...

So, in a final desperate stab to resolve this, I am imploring my blogging community for help. If you know this song, please let me know the missing lines. It's not a life or death situation (yet), but it would bring much peace of mind for me and Jason who has probably heard enough about it. :) Also, it would be a fun song to teach to the kids at our fellowship... IF I remember the rest of the song! Here is what I remember -- feel free to fill in the blanks. Do you know another fun fruit of the spirit song?

Orange you glad you love Jesus?
Orange you glad he loves you?

_______________________
I'll never be blueberry blue;
His power makes me bananas,
He's the apple of my eye

_______________________
He's raisin us when we die.

He saved us out of the pit of hell,
and I'm plum happy to be
the child of a grape big God,
I've got His fruits on my tree.

(spoken) I've got the fruits of the Spirit, c'mon let's hear it!

I've got love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance; love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance; meekness, and temperance, meekness, and temperance.

Off we go into the wild blue yonder...

2006-08-16T11:38:00.000-04:00

Last weekend Jason and I drove out to Belleville, IL to spend a couple of days with my brother Ken and my sister-in-law Gao, who are both soldiers stationed at Scott Air Force Base.

Scott AFB was hosting an open house and air show that included the incredible Thunderbirds who put on a great performance: flying in tight formations, twisting and dipping, and at times flying belly to belly (one right-side up and a second jet upside down directly underneath).

There were lots to see on the ground as well as in the air... NASA displays (herego the picture of the four of us astronauts-please note the midget astronauts, our 6'4" and 6'6" husbands), a German Nazi fighter jet, a Russian WWII plane, and several American made jets and planes spanning from the last century.

Scott AFB is also just across the river from St. Louis, MO so we spent a good portion of our time either on the metro train to/from the city or roaming around its streets. It was Jason's first time in St. Louis, so we wanted to make sure we hit the big arch before we left. We ate a big carbo-charged lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory (yep, the same restaurant as in L-ville but it was Jason's first time there and I think one of my brother's current favorite restaurants) and we made it to the top of the St. Louis arch by sunset as the band Live played below. By the time we left Saturday night, we were prett beat (as you can tell from this pic at the top of the arch). However, the weekend was great and we are so thankful for Ken and Gao who opened their home and their time off for us. What did you do this past weekend? Any plans for this coming weekend? Post a comment and tell us all about it!

R.I.P. Mr. Fuzzy Britches

2006-08-11T11:42:00.000-04:00

At approximately 7:10am this eleventh of August, 2006, an anonymous squirrel who has since been named Mr. Fuzzy Britches found the end of his demise beneath the tire of a hunter green Nissan Sentra. He was last seen attempting to cross the street with a large walnut in his mouth, no doubt on his way to feed his wife and ten starving children. The driver claims that she was unable to swerve out of the way due to oncoming traffic and so gripped the steering wheel until she and her husband heard the tell-tale "ka-thunk" beneath their front driver seat tire. Both were reported to respond to the horrific event with a long drawn-out "ooooohhhhhh........" Neither persons are eager to return to the place of the hit-and-run. Warrants are being drafted for either of these guilty party:

Perpetrator: Donna Shaw, aka "Wheels"
"What have I done???"

Considered armed and dangerous

Accomplice: Jason Shaw, aka "Shaw Daddy"

"Eh, it was just as squirrel."

Previous felonies: ripping tags off throw pillows, general unruliness

Please notify authorities if you have any information on these dangerous individuals at 1-800-SQURLWATCH... on behalf of all the woodland creatures, thank you for your attention and concern.

Recollections...

2006-08-07T15:57:00.000-04:00

I've been perusing through my journals from the last couple of years - it's always a refreshing thing to do. It's amazing to reflect on what God has been teaching me and others, answering prayer, guiding our lives in His own mysterious way. Anyway, I don't really have the time to wax eloquently but I wanted to leave an excerpt that I jotted down in my journal last fall as I was searching and learning about wisdom and how it is found in the fear and trust in the Lord. It encouraged me again to remember and reflect on the truths He revealed that day. I hope you find it encouraging itself, and know that not all of my journal entries are this organized and level-headed. :)

October 1, 2005

"Saturday - I love Saturdays. I got to sleep in until after 9am, so that is always exciting. There roomies are gone until Monday morning, so I have the apartment to myself this weekend. My thoughts are already going in 4th gear this morning: about SNT tonight with my international friends, seeing Jason tomorrow [note: we had just restarted our relationship], him meeting Mom in a couple of weeks.

"Reading Knowing God b J.I. Packer - very good stuff. The chapters about wisdom are excellent (Ch 9-10). The key to wisdom is to fear and trust the Lord. He quotes Richard Baxter:

"'Ye saints, who toil below,
Adore your heavenly King,
And onward as ye go
Some joyful anthem sing.
Take what He gives,
And praise Him still
Through good and ill
Who ever lives.'

"Teach me to adore You with joyful songs, Lord. Teach me to praise You for all the things You give, even if my dim mind may not completely understand it."

"Awake to righteousness, and do not sin..." - 1 Cor 15:34a

"Therefore, my beloved brethern, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. - 1 Cor 15:58

"Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation. - Ps. 91:14-16"

We're Going Public

2006-07-28T15:36:00.000-04:00

Beginning this Wednesday, Lord willing, Jason and I will be playing live every Wednesday night for the next month at Starbucks St. Matthews (near Starlight Custard). We will be doing mainly cover songs, peppered with a few originals. This will be my first time since high school to play at a coffee shop, and we are both pretty excited to play together... and nervous (at least I am). It won't be a lights-and-lasers show by any means... I think we'll just be sitting in a corner just jamming together. Feel free to show up, grab a blackberry green tea Frappuccino, and sing along to some Johnny Cash, Lisa Loeb, Caedman's Call, and many more.

Info:
Time: 8pm-10pm (I think)
Playing: Every Wed. in August
Location: Starbucks St Matthews
Address: 4400 Shelbyville Road, Louisville, Kentucky
Contact Starbucks: 502-899-1210

Yep, It's Me

2006-07-17T16:21:00.000-04:00

Whew - the last month has come and gone so quickly! But alas - Jason and I are still alive and kickin' it in our new apartment, adjusting to and thoroughly enjoy enjoying married life together. We had a fabulous honeymoon in Blue Ridge, Georgia at a cabin owned by a good friend of the family: hiking up to waterfalls, learning to grill out, and sitting on the back porch sipping juice and listening to the sound of birds and the creaking of our rocking chairs. On our way home, we cruised through Berea, KY so I could show Jason around my alma mater, Berea College.

Now we're back at work, enjoying the blessing of sharing one car (it really IS a blessing - so many fun memories and heartfelt moments!), sharing chores and groceries, pouring out grace and have grace poured out on ourselves as we are learning how to become what we have been declared to be in God's grace - an excellent wife and an exemplary husband.
**Photo by David Michael

Some of you in the Blogosphere may have already read the blogs of my two former roomies -but roomies in my heart forever- Lisa and Jen covering the event of our wedding (if not, you can link over by clicking on their names -they got some great shots). They are a blessing and a Godsend, especially throughout the tornado known as "wedding." Ladies- you are two of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for your patience, your wisdom, and your Aquanet... my life will never be the same because of you both.

The wedding was a culmination of many friends and family working together to help us exalt Christ in our love and union with each other. From the cake decorating to the reception setup/breakdown/hosting - there are so many people to thank. We are so grateful to our Father and the many people He has blessed us with in our lives... and if you are reading, thank you thank you thank you!!
**Photo by David Michael

There's a lot more I could say and write about, but I guess it will have to wait for another time. I hope to drop an occasional blog - we'll see how time and life permits. In the meantime, we covet your prayers and -if you wish -we'd be delighted to know how we can pray for you as well. Drop us a line at donnamshaw@gmail.com and let us know how you are doing... and thanks for reading!

**Photo by David Michael

Caution: Vulnerable moment ahead

2006-06-20T23:33:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I feel like this...

But today I have felt more like this.

I am so thankful for bridesmaids, a loving fiance, and fantastic friends and family in this time. Ultimately, Jason and I are getting married in a few days, and the Lord has poured out on us an ABUNDANCE of grace and good things. I cannot wait to marry a man I love and respect more than any other in 72 hours... details of the reception don't matter, having the right amount of favors don't matter, anticipating every little issue doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that God is using this time and upcoming season for His purposes and to glorify Himself.
What a relief. Marriage, here I come!

13 days...

2006-06-11T10:10:00.000-04:00

... until Jason and I will enter a covenant of marriage and begin a new season of our new lives in Christ. So many thoughts swirling through my mind now... mostly excitement to begin a life with a man who I love more than I ever thought possible, but also a sense of grieving of my season of singleness that has almost passed. Living in community with my wonderful roommates Jen and Lisa has been an incredible time of growth, laughter, tears, frustration, but above all love. I have learned so much living with them, and it saddens me to see it coming to a close. We will of course remain in each others' lives, as same-sex friendships are crucial to healthy living... but it will be different. I am so thankful for the last year living in close community with these beautiful women of God, as they have taught me patience, endurance, true forgiveness, selflessness, Christ-centered suffering, and so many other things that the Lord has used to prepare me for becoming one flesh with Jason as well as becoming more conformed into the image of Christ. I am so thankful for you both, and I pray that if the Lord wills that He continue to bless and deepen our friendships together.

Speaking of Jen and Lisa, they took time out of their busy schedules last Friday to do an engagement photo shoot out at St. James Court (where we're getting married - see Lisa's post to see a couple more pictures), and Central Park which is right across the street. It was perfect weather for taking pictures, and we had so much fun playing around in front of the camera. I am usually very self-conscious when taking pictures - every flaw seems to stand out in my mind as I feel the focus of the lens boring down on me. However, it is very different when I am standing with Jason... his continual encouragement and unabashed affection helps me forget myself and just enjoy having these fun moments captured on film.

Please pray for us over the next couple of weeks as we seek to accomplish no more than the Lord gives us strength and means to accomplish, for good weather (both our ceremony and reception are outside and expecting around 200 people to attend), that we would continue to honor Him with our thoughts, words, and actions, that our wedding and our marriage would clearly reflect the truth and power of the Gospel - that two former enemies of God are now undeservedly forgiven and heirs of His kingdom, and that we would have the strength and ability to serve and love each other and our friends and family during the next couple of weeks.

A little update for y'all

2006-05-27T22:35:00.000-04:00

Blogging has taken a backburner these days - there is just too much going on nowadays. School is over for the semester, and I won't be going back to classes until next spring (Jason and I are taking a semester off as we are starting a life together). I am now SO glad that I only took one class this past semester... I barely made it though with a passing grade, but it's over and the class with Dr. Scott (Typical Problems in Biblical Counseling) was wonderful and the Lord used it to challenge and grow me as well.

Wedding plans are going well, but boy is it busy (countown: 28 days). Since I have been in and helped with so many weddings, I had a pretty good idea of the amount of time and energy that goes into it... but sometimes it is still surprising. In addition to wedding plans, we have been doing a lot of marriage planning/preparation... Jason and I had our last premarital counseling meeting this morning with Lisa's parents, who are pretty amazing and approachable people. They demonstrate to us how to actually develop and live in a biblical worldview on the most practical level - by God's grace, we will strive to emulate that in our marriage and family.

Things here at the apartment have been pretty relaxed now that we have all completed our assignments and we are school-free for several months... we have had opportunity to get some rest, feed our neighbors the Canadian geese (who I threaten to kill at least once a week for waking me up in the morning), and watch the film "Everything is Illuminated," a fantastic indie film that takes a different spin on WWII in Europe. Congrats to Lisa for graduating from Boyce. I know it sometimes felt like we were hobbling across the finish line, but there are no other people I would want to hobble alongside other than you all. :)

House update: we have a new addition to our little apartment home: a second parakeet named Skeeter. She is very different from Chips, who is more docile and is content to just chill on your shoulder. Skeeter's favorite thing to do it hang upside down and do flips on her perch... she is really kooky but endearing. Chips seems to like her pretty well too, and we think he will do well to have a companion during this crazy time of transition. The next project now will be to get Skeeter handtrained so we can let her out of her cage with moderate ease (we had a pretty crazy episode yesterday that we don't want to relive that included her stuck behind the futon, on the fridge, and smacking repeatedly into the glass door).

Jason and I are getting the keys to our new apartment on Wednesday - we'll start moving stuff in then and we will move ourselves in on June 24th following the wedding. The Lord has blessed so much that there is very little furniture we have to buy - only a bed and night stands, really (we purchased a bed last week to, and tomorrow Jason is picking up the pretty and functional consignment night stands that the Lord blessed us with this afternoon). It feels a little like I'm in a sort of limbo between seasons... it's weird, but good.

Also, Jason surprised me with a few hours in his friend Eddie's studio last week. We were able to record a song I had written to him, a song he wrote before coming to KY, and some songs that we have sang/played together over the last couple of years. It was really fun and I am so thankful that the Lord gave us this close bond of music to enjoy together - Jason is truly one of my best friends and an incredible man of God with deep conviction and talent, and I look forward to have the opportunity to love him and Christ together more in the years to come.

Hope you all enjoy this little update... it may be a while before you see another. Jason and I appreciate your prayers... we all experience trials, and even in this wonderful and beautiful time we have faced a few difficult ones. But what hope we have in the fact that we can trust a wholly sovereign and wholly good God who redeems and restores. We love you, Father - let your Gospel be proclaimed in those of us who call you Lord and Savior.

Mixing it up...

2006-05-17T20:29:00.000-04:00

(no pun intended)

I really love to cook, and now that school is officially out I am having fun and taking out pre-wedding stress in the kitchen. :) I especially love trying new dishes and stretching my culinary skills - usually I think of something I'd like to try and look it up online and find recipes that rate high by those who tried it. Today's endeavor came from cdkitchen.com : steak fajitas and spanish rice. Jason LOVED them and we had plenty of leftovers for my roomies and for lunch tomorrow. You can try halfing this recipe if you are cooking for two - let me know how it turns out if you try it though, as I am curious if it changes the cooking times.

Here it is:

Beef Fajita Wraps (serves 6):

- 1 lb steak, sliced into strips (I used eye of round steak because it's cheap -$4 for a lb - but skirt or sirloin would work too)
- 2 lg. green bell peppers (seeded, sliced thin)
- 1 lg. onion (sliced)
- 6 lg. flour tortillas (warm)
- 1 lime, sliced in half
- 1/2 T garlic powder
- 1 pkg fajita seasoning (Wal-Mart has some)

Additional toppings (optional):
- tomato (diced)
- sour cream
- salsa (Wal-Mart has this great Black Bean and White Corn Salsa - yum!)
- shredded cheese (monterey jack/cheddar is great)

1) Merinade steak in lime juice and garlic powder for 20-30 minutes in fridge (**You can make the spanish rice while it merinades - time saver!)

2) In LARGE skillet (I used the same one that I cooked the spanish rice in), spray a little cooking spray and cook steak on med-high heat until browned. Add fajita seasoning, onions, and green peppers and let simmer about 10-15 minutes. Serve hot with warmed tortillas and toppings of your choice.

Classic Mexican Spanish Rice (serves 6):

- 1 c. long grain rice (uncooked)
- 3 T oil (coconut is a healthy alternative, and it's inexpensive and adds good taste)
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 1 clove garlic, minced (or 1/2 T garlic powder)
- 1 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1/4 tsp. chili powder
- 4 oz. canned tomato sauce (I used salt-free)
- 2 1/4 c. canned reduced sodium chicken broth and water (use 14 oz can broth and make up difference with water)
- 1 1/2 c. shredded cheese (monterey jack/cheddar)

In large skillet, brown rice in oil. Add remaining ingredients, let simmer, covered, over low heat for 25 minutes or until tender.

When done, transfer to 8 X 8 inch microwave-safe casserole dish. Top with cheese. Microwave on high (about 30 seconds), right before serving, to melt cheese.

Total cooking time: 1 hr 10 min.

Enjoy! Let me know how you like the recipe if you try it.

I did it again...

2006-05-13T23:40:00.000-04:00

Wasted another evening piddly-dee-deeing on the computer. Post-semester has not been pretty.

The semester's over....

2006-05-10T23:43:00.000-04:00

My sentiments exactly.

Ahem... I SAID....

2006-05-05T17:09:00.000-04:00

Add a caption!

http://donnawonna-part2.blogspot.com/2006/05/go-ahead-add-caption.html

**Due to some posting issues with the SBTS blog site feed, I had to repost this... you don't have to add a caption if you don't want to :)

Go ahead... add a caption!!

2006-05-04T09:45:00.000-04:00

All right, all right.... so I'm bending to peer pressure. But you gotta admit, these are pretty fun. So... step right up and try yer hand at this here picture.

** Pi cture provided by hisprincess , Flickr.com

Come, Lord Jesus

2006-05-03T00:08:00.000-04:00

Jason and I were driving into Portland (west end Lville) on our way to small groups this evening when we were passed by an emergency vehicle. It swerved through two lanes of traffic and pulled over to the side of the road... where I saw an elderly black homeless man that had collapsed on the sidewalk, his garbage bag of possessions laying next to him.

The image was so saddening and shocking that I felt tears well up in my eyes, my heart torn for the man and so many others like him. It also made me long for the new heaven and new earth, when suffering will cease, death will not have power over us, and sin will no longer corrupt our bodies, minds, and hearts. Move us to act and go into the nations and our neighborhoods with Your good news, Father! Brothers and sisters, let's not become so comfortable in this present season of eternity that we do not long and groan for the coming of our King...

Come, Lord Jesus.

Question...

2006-04-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

I found the perfect topper for our wedding cake,
but I need some feedback..

Things I've Learned in the Last 24 Hours

2006-04-29T10:21:00.000-04:00

1) Solicitation calls can and will be made to your cell phone... grr.

2) I can now make custom address labels on Microsoft Word and download free fonts online.

3) The Kinkos on Shelbyville employs a sweet elderly man who has a uncanny resemblance to Yoda.

4) Never drink two servings of green tea in any form after 4pm or thus forego a good night's rest.

5) I love my roommates - they are so encouraging and comfortable.

6) Bananas are now on sale at Wal-Mart for 38 cents/pound.

7) General Foods manages much of the banana industry coming out of Central America, and one of the salesman at my dealership was part of formulating their present banana importation procedures while helping to disable a labor strike in the 1970s.

8) I love my husband-to-be, Jason Shaw... he works so hard and I respect his leadership, deep convictions, and his attentiveness and commitment in our relationship even though he is really really busy.

9) Rush Limbaugh finds settlement in painkiller fraud case... (my dad's a fan)

10) My younger brother and his wife are coming in this weekend!! YAY!!

11) Make sure to take a GOOD look at your clip art pics before you post them on your blog... I almost embarassed myself by posting a subtly less-than-innocent pic - yikes!!

12) Leftover burrito from Monday is NOT suitable for consumption on Friday night.

** Photo provided by migennes, Flickr.com

Oh, that blasted tongue!!

2006-04-14T20:01:00.000-04:00

The author of James wasn't exaggerating, was he? He said that in the tongue was impossible to tame, a world of evil, and is able to corrupt the whole person (James 3). I have been hit dead in the face with this truth the last couple of weeks... so many opportunities to choose to use my tongue to edify or to tear down.

Guess how many times I failed. Too many to count.

How often I am quick to speak, slow to listen, and slow to wrath (James 1:19)? The battle for taming the tongue is daily... even HOURLY... and if often feels like I'm losing.

Need more biblical references to reinforce the power of words? A few that the Lord has been using in me are reason enough to cringe and search one's hearts and examine one's life. Jesus taught that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matt 12:34). Proverbs is littered of wise truths about how words can build up and tear down, how the wise uses words carefully while the fool speaks without thinking (Prov 12:6; 12:13-14; 12:17-23; 13:2-3; 14:3; 14:25; . At the 24 hours of prayer I was convicted by a psalm that hit on the this same topic (Ps 34:13).

Father - let my words be honoring to You... please continue to renew my mind and heart so that my words will flow from a heart that sincerely loves You and others. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Lord (Ps 19:14).

For the glory of God... am I?

2006-03-29T10:53:00.000-05:00

Read a great mini-devotion this morning from Elizabeth Elliot about "the glory of God." It was a good refresher... that phrase seems to pop up more in my conversations and prayers lately, but am I maintaining a correct view of what the glory of God really is? Here is what Ms. Elliot wrote - feel free to add any thoughts about the glory of God, how you see this being manifested in your life or the life of others, etc.

The Glory of God

When God's power is manifested in the world, in his creation, or in his people, God is glorified. When we pray that our lives may glorify Him, we are asking that the self may be put down, for it is not possible to show the power of God and at the same time to glorify what George MacDonald called "the bastard self." We must be prepared to lose ourselves, whatever that may entail, that God may be all in all. Losing an argument for his sake, losing something we held dear, losing "face," reputation, a position of power or superiority, losing a claim on someone or on his affection or respect--can these be a part of the answer to our prayer to glorify God in our lives? Assuredly they can, for assuredly the Son Himself laid aside all such assets when He came to do the will of the Father.

"I have glorified Thee on the earth'' (Jn 17:4 AV), He said--and that glory was manifested through weakness, loss, and suffering. What a privileged position we are called to share.
Lord, lift up our eyes, away from ourselves and our small losses, up to that glory yet to be revealed. Teach us that it is only out of weakness that we are made strong, only as we suffer that we may reign, only as we lose that we may gain.

Do I smell?

2006-03-13T17:25:00.000-05:00

Reading some Luke this morning, and had some thoughts that I shared via email with my beloved today. Since I'm sitting bored out of my skull at work, I thought I would post some of these thoughts and get some feedback if anyone is interested (I'm at my night job where I just answer phones and try to not fall asleep, so I am allowed to waste time on the internet).

After reading the passage in Luke 5 about Jesus at the beginning of his ministry, calling his first disciples (the Zebedee brothers, Simon Peter), healing the leper and the paralytic... two separate thoughts came to mind:

1) It's interesting that Peter's first response to the miracle of the net overflowing of fish was not a casual, "Thanks, Jesus," or anything trite or jovial... he responded by falling to his knees and asking Jesus to "depart from me, for I am a sinful man." It reminds me of what Lisa said yesterday on the way to church as we were discussing Isaiah 40-43: we can not come to true repentance without first recognizing God for who He really is. It is then that we realize the magnitude of our sinfulness in comparison to God's holiness and our desperate need for Him.

2) I was thinking about what Jesus must have thought when He looked around and saw the effect of sin everywhere: spiritual darkness, distorted thinking, and physical illness/disease. Can you imagine living on the perfect earth you created and see, smell, and hear vividly how the curse of sin has corrupted and decayed it? We get so used to the sights, sounds, and smells of decaying sin around us because it permeates from our being as well.

Let's pray for a "sensitiviy to the stench of sin," since we have been washed by regeneration and renewed by the Spirit (Titus 3). On the other hand, we must not walk in condemnation because our clothes still smell of sin, but instead by grace we could press on, run the race, and lay hold of the prize that has been set before us by the Author and Finisher of our faith, Jesus Christ (Phil. 3, Heb. 12).

Drive with Pride

2006-03-03T16:56:00.000-05:00

I have seen several interesting license plates the last few days in my random trips around the Ville... here are the highlights:

1) GRAMMA

2) SHRPEI

3) OY VEI

4) NOW ICEE (actually, this is Bradley's license plate, but it deserves mentioning)

Seen any interesting plates lately? Or do you have one yourself?

My Vice - Useless Surveys

2006-03-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

All right, I was cruising around online yesterday when I ran across this survey thing on my friend Chuck's blog. Some of you know that I can hardly resist useless surveys (I'm not really sure why - it's just fun to do and read others' answers)... so I completely blame Chuck, my brother from another mother, for this. :) Seriously, if you read this and you have some free time, try filling it out and posting. You learn things about people you would have never known otherwise. Just highlight the text, copy, and paste.

Those I challenge to fill out and post their own answers: Jen Wojak, Lisa McGary, Lindsay Swartz, and Bradley Cochran. And whoever else wishes to participate... happy surveying!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: Donna Millard
Birthday: October 17
Birthplace: Beale AFB, California
Current Location: Louisville, KY
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown w/ some red
Height: 5'9"
Right Handed or Left Handed: use both - write right handed, eat left handed, some things can switch hands
Your Heritage: Mom - Korean; Dad- causasian mix, mainly Scottish and Polish
The Shoes You Wore Today: flip flops
Your Weakness: my sinful nature... and useless surveys :)
Your Fears: no love
Your Perfect Pizza: lactose-free cheese (I wish), portabello mushrooms, lots of veggies
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get married without becoming Bridezilla... and to be more conformed to Christ's likeness
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: don't really use it any more
Thoughts First Waking Up: Already?
Your Best Physical Feature: Jason (my fiance) says he likes my eyes, so I will just say that
Your Bedtime: aim for 11pm, but I'm not consistent
Your Most Missed Memory: I don't think I understand this question
Pepsi or Coke: Blech - neither
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither - but if I had to choose it would be BK's Whopper Jr.
Single or Group Dates: a good combination of both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither - I like green tea or herbal teas
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: depends on my mood - I'm trying to abstain from all coffee right now, but I broke down this morning and had an AMAZING cup of joe made by my roomie Jen
Do you Smoke: nope
Do you Swear: nope
Do you Sing: yep
Do you Shower Daily: usually :) Hey, I'm just being honest
Have you Been in Love: yes - first with the Lord, second with my husband to be, Jason Shaw
Do you want to go to College: Been there, done that
Do you want to get Married: Lord willing, in four months
Do you belive in yourself: no, I believe in the power of Christ in me who can do all things - I am miserably flawed and inconsistent in my own strength
Do you get Motion Sickness: yes, a little too easily
Do you think you are Attractive: I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even when I have trouble believing that (Psalm 139)
Are you a Health Freak: everything in moderation
Do you get along with your Parents: not all the time, but there is grace and the Lord is continuing to conform me to His image in this area of my life
Do you like Thunderstorms: not really
Do you play an Instrument: yes - guitar, percussion, mallets (xylophone, etc), a little piano, used to play the oboe
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no, unless Nyquil counts
In the past month have you Smoked: nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs: antibiotics and Flonase (allergies)
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I don't remember... I think we went to look at tux rentals for the wedding
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no... but now that you mention it... mmmm.... Oreos....
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes - boss took us out to Sakura a couple of weeks ago -- AMAZING
In the past month have you been on Stage: I don't think so
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: what kind of survey IS this?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I haven't robbed a bank or anything, but you know we can steal little things without even thinking about it: time from employers, pens, Splenda from roommates... er, DOH!
Ever been Drunk: it depends on one's definition - I sought a lot of really stupid things and desires during a very unprofitable season in college - praise God for His mercy and deliverance
Ever been called a Tease: please see previous answer
Ever been Beaten up: I was accidentally punched in the face my freshman year in college
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: To live is Christ and to die is gain - in a way that Christ is glorified and made much of
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: whatever puts me in the center of God's will -- maybe counseling missionaries or church planting overseas?
What countestion58 What the... ?

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Jason's
Favourite Hair Color: Jason's
Short or Long Hair: Jason's
Height: Jason's
Weight: Jason's
Best Clothing Style: Jason's
Number of CDs I own: not very many
Number of Piercings: ears, one hole each
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus - God's mercy and sovereignty redeems our worst mistakes, and I am so thankful. With that said, is it really profitable to meditate on the past regrets or to praise Him for His sovereign plan for our lives and to press on in our new lives in Christ?

Hebrews, a great High Priest, and grace, grace, grace

2006-02-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

Been reading Hebrews a lot lately with new eyes. I think this is the most enjoyable read I've had through this book... it seems to come alive and rich with meaning. Freedom from dead works and alive in Christ, our great High Priest who was also the perfect sacrifice for all mankind... the final and everlasting atonement for our sin, and the eternal living hope of salvation through His death, resurrection, and His promise to return. There is really so much but not enough time to unpack it all. If you are wrestling with defeat, self-righteousness, discouragement, legalism.... read Hebrews. Come and fall down at the feet of our compassionate High Priest who was tempted but without sin in every way so that He could sympathize with our many weaknesses.

The Lord is overwhelmingly merciful and gracious to us - come, confess your inability to overcome the curse of sin on your own, repent of your self-worship and idolatry, and call on Christ to become your Lord, your Master. He alone has the power to overcome your sinfulness that grips you with death - Christ has the power to release the clutches of death from your soul and breathe life into you, life now and forever. Recognize that true life is knowing God and His Son Jesus Christ whom God sent (John 17:3). By His character and person God defines goodness, holiness, beauty, and love. He sustains every heartbeat, every breath, every fragile life - He is Creator, and He is more than deserving of our total worship and obedience.

When you become in Christ, He begins to break the old mold of death and sin and mold you into the image of Christ - you become like Him! As you fill your mind with who God is in Scripture, remain in constant communication with Him in prayer, and walk in obedience by loving the Lord with everything in us (Deuteronomy 6:4-5),He begins to change your desires and motives. As trials and difficulties come and tear away our past confidences and idols that we have worshipped with our time, attention, and energy (anything we place before the Lord and His commands is an idol), we ache and hurt but we trust that if we are in Christ then it is certainly for our good - that we are somehow becoming more conformed to His image, that God is being exalted and glorified.

We begin to find true joy and peace because our greatest need is fulfilled - peace with God. When we center our lives in Christ, everything else falls into place. We begin to trust the Lord through difficult times and through times of blessing. We constantly bow before our Lord, thanking Him for every moment of our lives no matter how it may inconvenience or frustrate us. Father, forgive me for not fighting for faith as I should. By Your grace, teach me in every moment to place Christ in the center: at work, in school, in relationships, in going to the grocery store, in free time, in ALL things may You be glorified (1 Corthinthians 10:31).

Speaking of God's glory and grace upon grace, I am also going to post a few pictures that Lisa took of Jason and me last week. We don't have many recent pictures of the two of us, so here are a few fun ones. The fact that Jason and I are getting married is another testimony of the grace of God and the redemptive power of the cross in two lives. We are both so grateful for the Lord's work in our lives and how He continues to conform us to the image of Christ through each other. Enjoy the pictures, and please take some time today to consider the power of the Gospel and how it can and is changing your life.

Rally the Troops!

2006-02-13T23:29:00.000-05:00

All right - I have managed to pry my foot out of my cake hole since my last post. The last week has been fairly busy, though I'll spare you the monotonous details. However, I would like to take a moment and thank my beautiful and servant-hearted bridesmaids who spent several HOURS putting together our wedding invitations.

Ang (my maid of honor - best friend/roommate through college) rolled in on Friday night for some serious wedding work and catch up time. Ang and I did some small shopping for little wedding things and more ribbon for the invitations. My other bridesmaid Rachel (friends through adolescence/youth group) drove up Saturday afternoon from south end of Louisville to join us along with my two roommates Jen and Lisa (the other two bridesmaids). We popped in a rented copy of "Father of the Bride" (which I had never seen, much to the dismay of my friends), and we began a flurry of hole punching, velum laying, and ribbon tying. I have to say that the end result is stunning - exactly how I had imagined them. And it only cost me a pot of spaghetti for lunch and pizza and breadsticks for dinner as a reward for their hard work. :)

There were two particular memories from the weekend that still stand out in my mind. One was right in the middle of the invitation making, and I was struck by the sight of seeing friends so dear to me and from different seasons of my life working together helping to prepare for one of the most important decisions of my life. It was almost like a "Here is Your Life" moment... I had flashbacks of Rachel in her braces, our matching flannel hoodies, and our 14-year-old singing group "TC2G." I remembered college nights with Ang and our 1am Domino pizza runs, late night laughs with StrongBad, and housesitting through the holidays together. And of course I can't recount all of the late night Wal-Mart runs, times of prayer and intense discussion, and inside jokes with my wonderful roommates. I was so overwhelmed with emotion at one point during the day I thought my heart was going to burst.

The second memory is really not profitable for mixed company, but it involved measurements and Donna inserting her big fat foot right back into her mouth, followed by hysterical laughter. Those that know the details about this please insert laugh here. The rest of you are to be left in the dark, as it should be.

Anyway, the weekend was a success - I owe you girls my life, you are all such a blessing to me. I love you all!

Ever Have One of Those Weeks?

2006-02-10T21:31:00.000-05:00

I have.

Highlights from the last 24 hours

2006-02-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

- Ate leftover meatloaf this afternoon with leftover green beans... why is it that meatloaf always taste better after it's been sitting in the fridge?

- Still working on wedding stuff... things are coming along well, especially with the Jason's partnership in all of this (the most proactive and thoughtful fiance EVER) and my future mother-in-law. I am so thankful for them both, as well as so many others who have offered to help us.

- Prayed through Lamentations 3 last night... very refreshing in light of some present trials. Reflected again on it tonight with Jason as well as Hebrews 12. How great our God is, and His mercy is immeasurable, even in His times of discipline and times of hardship.

-Did a lot of filing and creating/updating spreadsheets at work today... had a good talk with my boss about simplicity and the brevity of life.

- Called most of my aunts and uncles last night to announce the wedding and to get mailing addresses for invitations. Found out some good news, some sad news... my cousin Robbie is in Iraq (I didn't know) and he was injured around Christmas. He was thrown from a Humvee when they were hit by a bomb.. he had a few broken ribs and some other injuries, but he's back with his unit now. He fared better than the other two who were with him - the guy in the passenger seat was killed instantly, and the woman driving had to have both legs and an arm amputated. Please pray for my cousin and the troops in Iraq, as well as my other relatives in the military (I also have one brother in the army, another brother in the Air Force, and (I think) a couple of other cousins in the navy).

- I love my roommates.

- Had a strawberry-icing-covered donut tonight from Wal-Mart... I think I may have shed a tear, it was so beautiful.

Whatever.

2006-02-03T00:43:00.000-05:00

I have been putting off blogging for a few weeks ... it's a weird thing, since I have been a faithful blogger for almost three years now. I think that as more of my friends are getting online and joining the blogosphere, I feel the rising pressure to post more thoughtful, witty, and visually pleasing blogs. But honestly, I am just going to go back to regular old blogging to update friends and loved ones on life. I began blogging to keep friends/family updated on my life, so I may regress back to that for a while.

Classes are back in full swing, and while I am looking forward to attending lectures I already feel behind in reading and assignments. With so many other things on my mind right now, school really seems like a lower priority (ironic, since I am in a financial pinch because of PAYING for these classes). I am taking a biblical counseling class and introduction to Old Testament - both look to be really great classes and very edifying.

On a more personal note, I am getting over a bout of bronchitis - I'm still coughing some, but I found out today that my lungs are finally clear and that the worst is over (YAY).

Wedding plans are on their way - we have got a lot of the big stuff done, though there is still quite a bit to do. Please pray for us as we seek the Lord in what we should plan for and what we can do without, as our budget is small but sufficient. Also, please pray for us as we continue in premarital counseling and learning how much we enjoy each other every day - pray that we would seek to please and glorify God in our relationship as well as investing in others around us who we love and value.

That's enough for now. Take care all - feel free to comment and let me know how things are going in your neck of the woods!

A Moment of Silence...

2006-01-23T10:55:00.000-05:00

Two nights ago we laid to rest my first friend at seminary:

Osmond and I met on my second or third day at seminary. I was living in the dorms at the time and I wanted to get a roommate that wouldn't complain when I stayed up all night to write a paper. SO I found a pet store nearby and purchased a cute little bright red beta fish that I promptly took home and settled into a little one-gallon fish tank on my desk, complete with a fake plant and a "no fishing" sign.

Osmond was not like any other fish: he actually responded when I talked to him, swimming circles around his plant and then coming right up to the glass and look at me expectantly. There would be times when I would be sitting at my desk, completely immersed in studies... and then I would glance over to Osmond, and he would be sitting with his face pressed against the glass, watching me intently. He saw me endure sleepless nights, moving out of the dorms, trials, and joys... my friends enjoyed coming in and seeing him, amazed at his lively and interactive personality.

Yeah, Osmond was a great fish and a good friend... and as weird as it sounds, it was always a comfort to have him there when I came home to the dorms. And as strange as THIS is going to sound (I'm just going to say it - I've certainly read weirder things on blogs), I think the Lord used Osmond to bring me some joy and stability during my first year at seminary. It's funny how much of a difference a small connection to another living creature can do, even when it comes in the package of gills and scales.

Anyway, two nights ago I came home to our apartment to find that Osmond had finally died. I had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't going to live much longer - he hadn't been eating much, he basically slept all the time, he was beginning to pale in his color, and the fact that beta fish don't generally live much longer than a year (Osmond was over a year and a half by then). My roommates broke the news to me, and Jason (who had come in with me) gave him an honorable burial at sea (translation: he flushed him for me because I couldn't do it).

There is really no point to this blog except to acknowledge that my pet has died. No tears were spent on his behalf, but he is missed. I have to catch myself not to greet him when I come in or say goodbye when I leave - habits take a little while to break. I guess the moral of this story is that connection is important... don't think that it is a trivial thing. Fish aside, we all need community and fellowship. God made us relational beings, and especially as Christians we thrive in community of Believers to encourage, exhort, support, and lovingly admonish when necessary. No man is an island... and as much as Osmond was a joy to have, he was not community. Seek true and honest fellowship in your life - and buy a fish if you need a place to start. :)

Some days you're the monkey...

2006-01-16T19:29:00.000-05:00

And some days you're the tiger.

Monkey versus Tiger

Which one are you today?

The Best Christmas Present Ever

2005-12-29T21:00:00.000-05:00

Guess what?

As of December 23, 2005 - I am engaged to be married to one Jason Shaw: fellow classmate at seminary, dear friend, brother in Christ, co-musician, ministry partner, a man of prayer, one who serves others selflessly, who leads with conviction, and one whom I look forward to soon call my husband.

Shameless promotion of my fiance' : Jason's roommate and I recently posted about why we love Jason so much - check them out at these links to hear more about him and to get a glimpse of what God has and is doing in his life:

Mike's Reasons why he likes Jason Shaw

Donna's Reasons why she likes Jason Shaw

For those of you who have witnessed and have been a part of our story for the last 1 1/2 years, thank you for all of your support, counsel, and prayer. We thank you so much for everything you have done - please continue to pray for us as we prepare for marriage and transitioning into a different season of our lives. For those of you whom this may be the first you have heard of it -- SURPRISE! :) Seriously, we would appreciate your prayers and encouragement as well.

Our story is a story of grace - we are undeserving of all of the blessings, trials, and favor that the Lord has lavished on us and how He has sanctified us through all of our experiences. I am so thankful for everything that God has taught me over the last couple of years - I had so much to learn and to grow into, and look forward to continuing and growing together with Jason in the years to come.

I hope that you had a very blessed and happy new year -- don't forget to thank our Father for His immeasurable blessings from 2005, and begin 2006 with His praise on your lips.

Grace and peace to you all through our Lord Jesus Christ...

Donna

What do you want on your tombstone?

2005-12-16T23:11:00.000-05:00

It's such a cliche' thing to say, but if you are reading this post then I guess I got your attention. :)

I was thinking about this topic yesterday after driving over to the Cave Hill Cemetery to clear my head and get some perspective. Walking around in the quiet of a beautiful cemetery has a tranquilizing effect on me for some reason... something about being faced with the reality of mortality does that to a person. Things that seemed so important and eternally difficult suddenly come into perspective. It's like someone puts a pair of glasses on your nose after you have been seeing everything blurry and distorted.

As I walked around the cemetery and reading different monuments and tombstones, I began to wonder about the people who are buried there. The grave stones that I was most intrigued by were those who seemed to convey a strong faith in God and a desire to see God glorified even in their death. Two particular stones always moves me to tears and wrench my heart (unfortunately I do not have a picture of either yet). They both are almost identical, except that one is a man and the other is a woman.
The statue is of a person who is unable to stand, and seems to be about to fall off into a large abyss. The only thing they are gripping on to for dear life is... a cross. Inscribed in both of these stones are the words, "Nothing in my hands I bring, Simply to they cross I cling."

What a testimony, if indeed they had lived in this way: clinging to the cross for dear life, recognizing that grace is all that holds them and not by anything that their own hands could offer. Every time I see those grave stones I think, "What would my tombstone say, if it were based on the way I live my life now?"

With this thought still mulling in my brain, I decided to search the web for other epitaphs from people who had passed. I found several humorous ones:

In Ruidoso, NM:
"Here lies Johnny Yeast
Pardon me for not rising."

On a grave in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
"Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young."

"Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Born 1903 - Died 1943
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car
Was on the way down. It was."

In Lincoln, ME:
"Sacred to the memory of Jared Bates,
Who died Aug. the 6th, 1800.
His widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street,
Has every qualification for a good wife,
And longs to be comforted."

I stumbled across others who were meant to be humorous, but I thought were poignant and sometimes saddening - a long lasting testimony of the person buried there:

In Oconto Falls, WI:
"Here lies the body of a man who died
Nobody Mourned - Nobody Cried
How He Lived - How He Fared
Nobody Knows - Nobody Cared"

"Here lies my wife
Here let her lie
Now she has peace
And so do I."

"Here lies the body of Mary Devoe
Wife of Henry Devoe
Tears cannot bring her back
Therefore I weep."

In Hookstown, PA:
"Hi!
Stay High
Bye!"
(Tombstone had an etching of a marijuana plant on it.)

In Hatfield, Massachusetts:
- ARABELLA YOUNG - 1771 -
"Here lies as silent clay
Miss Arabella Young.
Who on the 21st of May,
Began to hold her tongue."

In Falkirk, Scotland:
"-- Solomon Pease --
Here under this sod, and under these trees
Is buried the body of Solomon Pease
But here in this hole lies only the pod,
His soul is shelled out, and gone up to God."

What will people remember most about you when your body expires? Will they remember someone who sought to live every moment clinging to the cross and trusting the Lord completely with one's life? Will they remember you as one who lived to serve others and sought to love others fiercely? Will they remember you as one who always had a chip on the shoulder, bitter and sharp tongued, and selfish? Will they remember you at all?

What do you want on your tombstone?

Yes, I'm alive (and not toofless)

2005-12-13T17:02:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your encouragement and prayer for the last week... everything is in process of being fixed permanently in January, but in the meantime I have a temporary crown so I don't resemble a pro boxer for the rest of December.

If you want to see a picture of how it looks now, click here.

Highlights since the Tooth Escapade:

1) Got to see Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I had never read the books, so I only had a limited idea of what the movie was about. However, I thought it was a great movie and at times the Christian parallels were pretty strong. I agree with some who have said that they were disappointed with the lack of character development of Aslan, especially when considering his being Christ in this story (check out this blog for more about this).

2) Started working on stuff for Christmas - I am making most of my gifts this year. I have a couple of projects pending right now that I hope to have completed before Christmas. It's fun to think creatively about gifts, as long as the gift-receiver enjoys the end result. :)

3) Took a road trip with Jason to Nashville on Sunday. We went to attend a meeting about a mission trip to Brazil that we may be taking, along with Jen and Lisa's parents. Anyway, the meeting was a bit short due to some scheduling conflicts with several of the other students who had originally planned to come to the meeting. However, I was surprised to find out that Jason had planned a surprise for us to go see Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb of God" Christmas concert/presentation at The Ryman at the Grand Old Opry. It was really amazing - it is actually performed by a whole slew of amazing musicians: Peterson, Derek Webb, Sandra McCracken, Andy Gullahorn, Jill Phillips, Ben Shive, Matt Slocum, Mindy Smith, etc etc etc. I went home with a warmed heart, joyful spirit, and fingers itching to pick up my guitar and write a new song.

4) Read through Philippians today after a very sanctifying afternoon. Paul's words of encouragement to rejoice, be content, and be like-minded and unified in Christ were very encouraging and helped clean out those carnal cobwebs of the mind. If you are struggling with discouragement, read Philippians - it is so rich with truth. The Lord is faithful to complete His good work in You by His grace and goodness, and as we walk in grace we are to work out our salvation through fear and trembling. It's a great balance - if you believe on (totally trust in) Jesus Christ, you are totally assured that you are justified by God's grace, and in that grace you are to become like Christ by striving for Him harder and with endurance. And as we strive, we have every reason to be rejoicing in the Lord, giving thanks in our present situation no matter what it is, and to be content in every moment because our present circumstance is allowing us to know God's goodness and provision, even in death, because death has even been swallowed up in victory and we die with confidence that we will be present with the Lord, home at last.

Hope you all have a great week - hope in God and trust in Him for every aspect of your life.

Cosmic Accident or the Sovereignty of God?

2005-12-07T08:27:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with a dull throb in the front of my mouth. Last night in a late-night wrestling war, I managed to break one of my front teeth in half.

I sort of resemble the dog on the right.

Anyway, at the moment that it happened I was overwhelmed with shock. Then it was followed with panic: I thought to myself, "OH CRAP -- I am supposed to meet with three people tomorrow ... including my boyfriend!" Then, God's Spirit in His mercy reminded me, "Donna, this is okay - God must have allowed this; He is in control of your broken tooth and He will take care of you." And that was it - I was calm... and even joking about it with my roommates. We even took some pictures for posterity (I'm not brave enough to post them yet).

Isn't it weird - I was just reading over Romans 8 with someone last night. I read that as followers of Christ, we are sealed with the Spirit - the body is dead because of sin but the Spirit is life because of righteousness (v.10). The Spirit intercedes with us in our weakeness when we pray to God according to the will of God ( v.26-27). Those verses are immediately followed by the famous verse 28-29: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethern. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified."

Conclusion: For reasons beyond my finite mind, God sovereignly appointed that I would break my tooth last night - and that somehow it is working for my being conformed to the image of Christ, and/or working toward the body of Christ becoming conformed to His image. And even though in my vanity I am self-conscious about it and that I presently resemble Mike Tyson, I have every reason to rejoice because every moment of my life is not prone to chaotic cosmic accidents but rather it is being guided by the mighty hand of an all-powerful and loving God. Let's praise Him today for His severe mercy - that He desires our holiness more than our temporary happiness.

Why I like Jason Shaw (Part Deux)

2005-12-01T09:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, Mike recently posted a blog entry that I have to encourage everyone to read, titled "Why I like Jason Shaw." And in the spirit of encouraging such a great guy, I wanted to offer my own reasons why I like this man of God so much and testify to what the Lord is doing in his life:

1) Jason continually looks for ways to serve others, even if it is inconvenient or uncomfortable to himself.

2) When Jason commits to something, he does it with his whole heart - he is a man of integrity and desires to totally give himself over the will of the Father, no matter what the cost.

3) Jason takes the time to be sensitive to others, and often pours genuine compassion on those who are hurting or lost.

4) Jason takes the time to really think, study, and pray through difficult issues and decisions... especially his "explorations." :)

5) Jason has been gifted with the ability to lead others in worship through song - I always enjoy singing praises to our Father with him.

6) Jason treats me as a valuable woman of God and is continually speaking words of encouragement and wisdom, exhorting me to look to Christ in all things.

7) Jason brings me flowers and soup when I am sick and relevent books and CDs when I am wrestling with certain issues or topics, as well as asking me what Scriptures bring light to the issue at hand.

8) Jason is willing to create, prepare, and eat a vegan Thanksgiving meal with my family.

9) Jason is king of the Props game.

10) Jason speaks with kindness and the word "grace" is continually on his lips.

Conclusion: Jason Shaw is a child of grace and is a wonderful testimony of what the Lord can do in a life that is completely submitted to Him. I am privileged to know him and my life is richer because he is a part of it.

November Highlights

2005-11-29T19:13:00.000-05:00

One more final to go, and I am doing my best to put off studying for as long as possible... the life of a true seminarian. Seriously, I have noticed my lack of personal posts lately and so I think I will take some time to reflect on the last month and all (or what I find profitable to share) that it has entailed:

1) The International Student Conference went very well - about 100-200 students showed up, representing over 30 countries. It was also a great time to building relationships with some of our students from U of L. Everyone seemed to enjoy the music - we picked the theme song "Love Train," which the students enjoyed. We were also able to lead the music during the Sunday Christian worship service, and several students expressed enjoyment in being a part of that with us. Overall, a great experience - I think that there is a good chance that we'll be leading the music next year as well, Lord willing. :)

2) Got to see Denver and the Mile High Orchestra (one of my favorite bands - swing/big band group, incredible) at my home church on Nov. 19... it was great, and I got to meet Denver for the first time after seeing them three times in concert. I used to LIVE for meeting my favorite bands in high school, but now it's not so much having stars in my eyes but that I want to meet and encourage musicians that have impressed me. So anyway, I tried to play it cool, act natural, blah blah blah... and then I ended up walking up to him and blurting out, "Hi, my name is Donna and I've seen you three times in concert - can I get a picture with you??" *smacks forehead* Anyway, he tried to be gracious even though a blubbering 25 year old was having temporary diarrhea of the mouth (that one's for you, Lisa).

3) Thanksgiving with the folks was great this year. Jason joined my family for Thanksgiving and was immersed into the deluge of the Millard clan: my parents, my younger brother and his wife, The Shaw, and I all in one house... perty wild. To further complicate matters, my parents are Seventh Day Adventists and adhere to specific dietary laws (at least my mom does consistently as well as add some of her own rules - no animal products of any kind, no refined sugar, no bleached flour or rice, no canned foods, and some other things). Well, for years I have been in charge of cooking Thanksgiving, and this year I was going to do it vegan style and try to avoid any no-no's of Mom's. Jason was very proactive in this and together we came up with several dishes that were pretty tasty and didn't cause World War III to erupt.
Jason fit right in with everyone and it was suprisingly natural for him to be a part of our family. Thank all of you who prayed for us during this entire time and preparing for the holidays with my folks. The Lord is doing so much in our lives and with my family - He has broken down walls and has taught us to fully rest our hopes on Him, even when things seems hopelessly lost and discouraging. Oh, and if you ever want to try lentil sheperd's pie, let me know and I can send you the recipe. :)

All right, enough of that - hope everyone's finals are going well and the semester is wrapping up smoothly. Let's remember to thank the Lord today for all of His rich blessings toward us, and ask Him to continue to teach us that the greatest blessing of all is that we may know Him and His Son, Jesus, whom He sent (John 17:3). Have a great week!

Don't Mess with Grandma

2005-11-22T15:10:00.000-05:00

This is a great clip that my boss sent to me last week. And since I have an affinity toward senior citizens (c'mon people - they have lived long enough to have respect!), I find it particularly hilarious. Enjoy - and I will try my best to find time to post something personal soon.

Grandma vs. Mercedes

FOTF talks about Sudan

2005-11-10T11:05:00.000-05:00

My heart breaks again as I am reminded of the atrocities going on in Southern Sudan and Northern Uganda... today on Focus on the Family, Dr. Dobson invited Wes and Vicki Bently to come and talk about their ministry to children/families in that area.

I WANT TO BE THERE -- right now, drop everything and go minister to those children and families who are hurting, who are in need to discipleship and the love and truth of Jesus. Oh Lord - that you would send me! Your ways are higher than mine, and I trust Your sovereignty... but I am willing. Send those who You would use to show Yourself to the hurting people of Sudan, that would minister in a way that draws people to You and Your Son, Jesus Christ. Strengthen those who follow You and suffer for Your sake... renew their joy in the midst of such horrible suffering as only You can.. thank You for Your constant promise that You are with us and never forsake us.

Please take the time to listen to this radio broadcast - you can link to it online here: http://www.family.org/fmedia/broadcast/a0038363.cfm

Also, you can link to Wes and Vicki's ministry site here: http://www.farreachingministries.org/

PLEASE PRAY for them and those to whom they minister -- do not think that prayer if ineffective.. the Lord chooses to use our prayers to affect our situations and to move people. And consider today how blessed you are if you live in a land where you can worship without fear of persecution... let us not forget those who do not. Let's fight for them on our knees today, tomorrow, and until the Lord comes to take us out of this suffering world. Come, Lord Jesus.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance..." - James 1:2

The Purpose Driven Starbucks?

2005-11-03T18:04:00.000-05:00

I heard about this on the radio on my way to work this morning, and I was a little surprised... A quote by Rick Warren is going to be featured on Starbucks "The Way I See It" campaign:

"You are not an accident. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He wanted you alive and created you for a purpose. Focusing on yourself will never reveal your real purpose. You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense. Only in God do we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance and our destiny." - The Rev. Rick Warren for Starbucks

Here is the story as covered by USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/life/2005-10-19-starbucks-quote_x.htm

I want to know what you all think about this -- positive/negative responses? Is this Starbuck's strategic marketing ploy to make peace with evangelicals that were offended by previous quotes on their cups?

Also, please pray for the International Student Conference this weekend - we're expecting about 200 international students from around Kentucky to come to this annual meeting. We are going to celebrate the nations, have good time of fellowship and relationship building, and we will have a Christian worship service on Sunday morning. I have been asked to coordinate the music for the weekend, and as always I am nervous about leading. BUT the Lord is good, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Please pray that the time will be enjoyable for the students and that we have great opportunities to share and make closer friendships with our international friends.

Have a great weekend, everyone - I look forward to coming home and seeing what discussion has been had in my absence. :)

Heart Comfort

2005-11-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

In light of my post a few days ago about Psalm 40, yesterday's devotional from Elisabeth Elliot was very timely and spoke truth so clearly. I would like to share this with you as well - let it encourage you in whatever struggle you have today. God is good and He has wonderful plans for your life - but you must trust Him with your life. Don't trust in your circumstances, because we live in a sinful world that is cursed with death - suffering is inevitable and your circumstances will constantly change. You must then trust in the character of God, because He is unchangeable. He is to be worshipped for His greatness, His power, His sovereign control over all His creation, His hatred toward sin and evil, His perfect and good nature, His mercy toward sinful men and women like you and me, His discipline and correction of His children, and for His desire to reconcile us to Himself through the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

He is worthy of our worship in every moment of our lives.

Let Ms. Elliot's wisdom encourage you today... and make a point of praising God today for who He is.

"To want what we don't have is impatience, for one thing, and it is to mistrust God. Is He not in complete control of all circumstances, events, and conditions? If some are beyond His control, He is not God.

A spirit of resistance cannot wait on God. I believe it is this spirit which is the reason for some of our greatest sufferings. Opposing the workings of the Lord in and through our "problems" only exacerbates them. It is here and now that we must win our victories or suffer defeats. Spiritual victories are won in the quiet acceptance of ordinary events, which are God's "bright servants," standing all around us.

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands. "Peace I leave with you; I do not give to you as the world gives" (John 14:27, NEB). What sort of peace has He to give us? A peace which was constant in the midst of ceaseless work (with few visible results), frequent interruptions, impatient demands, few physical comforts; a peace which was not destroyed by the arguments, the faithlessness, and hatred of the people. Jesus had perfect confidence in His Father, whose will He had come to accomplish. Nothing touched Him without His Father's permission. Nothing touches me without my Father's permission. Can I not then wait patiently? He will show the way.

If I am willing to be still in my Master's hand, can I not then be still in everything? He's got the whole world in His hands! Never mind whether things come from God Himself or from people-- everything comes by His ordination or permission. If I mean to be obedient and submissive to the Lord because He is my Lord, I must not forget that whatever He allows to happen becomes, for me, His will at that moment. Perhaps it is someone else's sinful action, but if God allows it to affect me, He wills it for my learning. The need to wait is, for me, a form of chastening. God has to calm me down, make me shut up and look to Him for the outcome.

His message to me every day
Is wait, be still, trust, and obey.

And this brings me to the matter of counseling. Upon our return from a trip to England I found a pile of mail, so many letters asking me what to do about things, for example: a wife's critical spirit, unemployment, a wife who has abandoned husband and children, a single mother doing a job she hates, an unfaithful husband, a woman (who tells me she is Spirit-filled) having an affair with her pastor, a farmer who'd like a wife, a mother-in-law who is nasty to her daughter-in-law, a stepson who is angry because "we don't spend enough money on his children," a wife who snaps at her husband each time he tries to snuggle up, and a husband who "drinks like a fish, curses like a sailor, and says he loves God."

I wish I could write the same letter to everybody: Wait patiently for the Lord. He will turn to you and hear your cry. It is amazing how clear things become when we are still before Him, not complaining, not insisting on quick answers, only seeking to hear His word in the stillness, and to see things in His light. Few are willing to receive that sort of reply. 'Too simplistic' is the objection. One listener to my radio program, Gateway to Joy, wrote, 'I got so upset at what you were saying I ripped the earphones out and aid, 'I'll do what I want to do!'" But there are those who can say, 'This is the Lord; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation' (Isaiah 25:9, KJV). Here are two testimonies:

'I've lost my mother, my brother, my husband, and my baby. My song is More Love to Thee, O Christ.'

'God picked up the scraps and pieces and made us whole--a whole woman, a whole man, a whole marriage.'"

Need a car? C'mon down!!

2005-10-28T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm at my usual spot on Friday night: sitting at the front desk of Bluegrass Lincoln/Mercury dealership answering phones (FYI: I used to work here several times a week last fall but now I only work Friday nights for a little extra flo-jo).

Anyway, things are usually pretty slow around here on Friday nights - sometimes we don't see a single soul other than the salesmen and the cleaning crew, but for some reason tonight is pretty busy - we've got two salesmen working the showroom with potential would-be customers. Good thing, too, since high gas prices are really having a negative effect on the car sales business.

I must confess: the reason for this post is pretty frivolous. I'm just trying to occupy my time for the last 30 minutes until our manager yells out, "All right, let's go home!" and then it's off to the races - everyone bolts out the door faster than you can say, "Would you like the leather interior option for that new Zephyr?" It's really not a bad job at all - I can work on homework between answering the phone and watching the lot, though usually by this time of the day I'm so zapped that reading anything more difficult than the comic section of the newspaper is all but impossible. So, the only REALISTIC alternative is cruise the internet and blog random posts.

FYI: The featured car in this post is the Mercury Montego, released in 2005 - my favorite car on the lot. If I were a salesman I could probably tell you all the specs, but since I'm only a humble receptionist I can only tell you that it sits on a Volvo frame, comes with a V6 engine, gets 26 highway miles to the gallon, and though it looks pretty compact from the outside it's very spacious when you get in it (think Grand Prix), ... and I think it likes me. :)

All right, I have just enough time to clean up the desk and empty the coffee pots, so I'm almost out of here... Gentlemen, start your engines....

Heart Cries

2005-10-27T22:16:00.000-04:00

The 40th psalm resonates within my being tonight, exposing the cries of my heart. Father, You are the same today as You were when David cried out to you so many years ago - let my heart cry out to You with the same trust as David's in the midst of hardships. Let my confidence come from You alone, because You are the Unchanging One. Restore my joy in the midst of suffering - expose in me my inconsistencies, purify my heart, and increase my faith. You are good, and Your mercy endures forever. In Christ's name and His righteousness, Amen.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined to me, and heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth - Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.

"Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust,
And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done;
And Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order;
If I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.

"Sacrifice and offering You did not desire; my hears You have opened.
Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require.
Then I said, 'Behold, I come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me.
I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart.'

"I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness in the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips, O Lord, You Yourself know.
I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindess and Your truth from the great assembly.

"Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.
For innumerable evils have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;
They are more than the hairs of my head; therefore my heart fails me.

"Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me; O Lord, make haste to help me!
Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion who seek to destroy my life;
Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor who wish me evil.
Let them be confounded because of their shame, who say to me, 'Aha, aha!'

"Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let such as love Your salvation say continually, 'The Lord be magnified!'
But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God." --Psalm 40

Good Music + Good Coffee = Good Times

2005-10-25T21:21:00.000-04:00

I know, I know - I have been very inconsistent in my blogging lately. I think I've got a few too many irons in the fire: school (eh..), work, preparing music for the International Student Conference, international student ministry, maintaining relationships, goofing off (see for yourself on Lisa's blog )...

Friday night I spent the evening at Sunergos Coffee , a great little local coffee shop, and watched Chad Lewis, Bradley Cochran, and Jason Shaw perform some original works as well as a few praise songs at the end to wrap up. The place was packed, and the fellas did a great job - nothing beats live music by local artists, especially when you know them.

Note: The superimposed picture in this entry is meant to be amusing and nothing more. I did it as a joke, hoping that no one will think the less of me because of my weird humor. My roommates thought it was funny.

Anyway, here are the picture highlights. I promise to try to find something to actually write on my next blog. :) Enjoy the pictures and support local artists!

The trio (l-r): Chad, Jason, and Bradley

Jason

Chad

Bradley (a.k.a. "B-diddy")

Mamiko, Jason, and I chillin' on some sacks of coffee beans

Jen and Joey keepin' it real

The place is packed out!

A little post-show fun

In the birthday aftermath

2005-10-18T21:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday night my wonderful, too good to be true roommates threw me a little surprise birthday party... I think it was the first time that I was actually surprised. We were supposed to have a few friends over for some potluck and to watch a couple of messages from John Piper on DVD (woo-wee, we are some WILD and CRAZY people). :) Anyway, I got home to find a note on the door of the apartment that led into a mini scavenger hunt around the apartment... it was really fun and very sweet. The last clue led out to the balcony where all of my other friends were waiting and of course they yelled and blew shrill party horns.

It was a great night all around, with some wonderful laughs, fellowship, as well as good teaching and worship. We also spent some time sharing burdens and received some much needed prayer and encouragement. The night was very laid back and just... great. The last of our guests left at about 1:30am.

There is nothing like genuine fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ... to be real in our struggles and heartaches, yet rejoicing together that we have confidence in God's goodness and love toward His children in the midst of trials... Hearing songs sang by men and women declaring the goodness of God, joining together in listening to teaching of God's Word and sharing what part of our hearts were exposed as we heard Truth articulated, confession of sin and resulting forgiveness and reconciliation, Christ-centered romance that can be observed, rejoiced over, and shared with brothers and sisters in the Lord... THIS is what fellowship of the body of Christ is about! To share LIFE together, to spur each other on toward love and good works, to bear one another's burdens, to exhort and comfort, to learn to live the Gospel and helping each other in understanding what that means. Life in Christ is the best thing that I have ever or COULD ever imagine - and I am so thankful for what amazing people that God has placed in my life, in such a time as this.

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethern. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, ,let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him... And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment." - 1 John 3:16-19, 23

And at your request...
Some birthday highlights caught on camera:

Birthday bashers! (l-r, front): Me, Jen, Danielle, Keiko
(l-r, back): Joey, Jason, Bradley, Chris G, Eric, Chris L, Kelly, Jose'

Oh, look. It's a cake. On the dryer.

JEN! Put the knife DOWN!!!

Bradley and Jason- my favorite guitar player *sigh*- rockin' out on my guitar

Jose' practicing his "pretty princess" pose

Me and my girls, Jen and Lisa - thank you.

Milestones and Seasons

2005-10-14T16:40:00.000-04:00

On Monday I will be 25 years old -- a whole quarter of a century. This is one of the weirdest birthdays that I have ever had... wonderfully weird and tragically weird at the same time for many reasons. New seasons of life, new challenges, new areas of growth and need of total dependence on the Lord, new lots of things - none of which I would have ever anticipated even a few years ago.

I had a conversation with a dear friend some weeks ago, and we were talking about how different our lives look now than how we had imagined it when we were kids or even in high school. I always imaged that by the time I was twenty-five I would be finished with school, have a career, married, and have a couple of children... I almost laugh now thinking about my expectations and how neatly I had arranged my life when I was thirteen. I look at my life now -- working on a masters that I hope to complete before I'm thirty, unmarried (and in a wonderful relationship), and still not completely knowing where the Lord will lead or doors He will open in the days and years to come. But you know... in every year that has passed I have come to know the Lord more, have learned to delight and hope in Him alone, endured trials that bring about perserverance, character, and hope, experienced moments of elation and wonder by the hand of God, and made some wonderful friends that have spurred me on toward godliness and total satisfaction in Him alone. I am truly thankful for what the Lord has brought about in my life: good, not-so-good, and seemingly unbearable. I praise God that His strength has been made perfect in my weaknesses and I look forward to the days to come with much anticipation and expectancy.

So, bring on 25. Bring on 85. Each day brings me closer to seeing the face of Christ, the face of the One who chose to take my shame and punishment so that I could spend eternity with Him - forgiven and free from sin that leads to death. We look forward to that day... come, Lord Jesus.

Here is a prayer of seventeen-year-old Lady Jane Grey that she prayed in prison before being beheaded in 1554... if only I could pray that from my heart every day. I am learning -- let's learn together to praise God in all seasons, because in all seasons He is good and He is deserving of our worship. Be blessed, and have a great weekend.

"O merciful God, be Thou unto me
A strong Tower of defence,
I humbly entreat Thee.
Give me grace to await Thy leisure,
And patiently to bear
What Thou doest unto me;
Nothing doubting or mistrusting
Thy goodness towards me;
For Thou knowest what is good for me
Better than I do.
Therefore do with me in all things
What Thou wilt;
Only arm me, I beseech Thee,
With Thine armor,
That I may stand fast;
Above all things taking to me
The shield of faith;
Praying always that I may
Refer myself wholly to Thy will,
Abiding Thy pleasure, and comforting myself
In those troubles which it shall please Thee
To send me, seeing such troubles are
Profitable for me; and I am
Assuredly persuaded that all Thou doest
Cannot but be well; and unto Thee
Be all honor and glory. Amen."

-Lady Jane Grey

Oh, we crazy seminarians!

2005-10-08T21:28:00.000-04:00

All right, let me first say that was WAY past our bedtime last night when my roomies Jen, Lisa, and I did this. I honestly don't really know how it began, but before I knew it I was grabbing a camera and we were laughing hysterically.

Jen was washing a pan in our sink, when Lisa came up behind her and stuck her arms underneath Jen's and... well, you can see what happened next:

Oh no, it's gets better...

And better...

Silly roomies -- I love you!

To all my curious visitors...

2005-10-04T09:03:00.000-04:00

There have been several comments left on my blog asking about recent developments in my life... and while I am more than happy to tell you about them in person, I have decided for the time being to refrain from posting about it. It's not that I don't want my blogging community to know about my goings-ons, but for now I think it is most profitable to be prayerful, exhibiting wisdom, and to let friends know by word of mouth. But don't worry - Lord willing, I will not keep you in the dark forever. :) Feel free to contact me privately if you simply cannot stand the suspense. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

I read a great quote today in a devotional from St. Thomas Aquinas, and it has struck a chord with me in this season of my life. I pray that the Lord will cultivate in me this same desire, and that the cry of my heart would be to know God more intimately and to love Him with every fiber of my being. Be encouraged by these words, be challenged to seek the same devotion to Him, and know that God is always working out His good, pleasing, and perfect will in our lives.

"Grant, O Lord my God, that I may never fall away in success or in failure; that I may not be prideful in prosperity nor dejected in adversity. Let me rejoice only in what unites us and sorrow only in what separates us. May I strive to please no one or fear to displease anyone except Yourself. May I seek always the things that are eternal and never those that are only temporal. May I shun any joy that is without You and never seek any that is beside You. O Lord, may I delight in any work I do for You and tire of any rest that is apart from You. My God, let me direct my heart towards You, and in my failings, always repent with a purpose of amendment."

-St. Thomas Aquinas

To God be the glory!

MAN, God is good!

2005-09-29T21:22:00.000-04:00

"Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me." Psalm 116:5-6

Thank you all so much for your prayers and concerns - it is so comforting to know that we have such a large family of brothers and sisters in Christ who we can reach out to when we are weary and troubled.

Just so you know, the situation with my friend that was so difficult has changed course and location, though it is by no means resolved - please continue to pray for the Lord to work and bring us to true repentance. May the Lord glorify Himself even in this situation as others step in to help and those of us previously involved can step out for a while.

Also, in one sense my wrestling with decisions for the future has subsided - I have made some important decisions that I have much peace and joy about now. I am still seeking godly counsel and constantly before the Lord for wisdom and guidance (as we should be), but I have a quiet confidence in the Lord and how He cares for His children, even little ol' gals like me who like to try to grab the controls sometimes. :) No one can ever convince me that God is an impersonal God - He has proven Himself over and over to be infinitely powerful and knowing, and He is a loving Father to His children. We simply must come to Him on His terms, trusting that His terms are best.

In other news, my dad just informed me yesterday that my two older brothers (from my dad's first marriage) were evacuated during Hurricane Rita (they are in south Texas). Anyway, they aren't sure about the damage done to their homes but one of my nephews is coming up with my dad this weekend (my dad's a truck driver on a regular route to Corpus Christi, TX). Depending on conditions, little David (my 15-year old nephew) may have to fly out of Louisville to Florida to stay with his mom and enroll in school there. If you could, please pray for my brothers and their families during this time, as well as the others who are without electricity and water for the time being.

All right, I REALLY have to get cracking on my studies - haven't gotten much done academically-speaking this week. Enjoy your weekends - I promise to try to post something more fun soon!

Musings

2005-09-28T10:05:00.000-04:00

This has been a wonderful and difficult time of wrestling, searching my heart, and calling on the Lord. Here are some of my meditations in the last couple of days:

Excerpt from Elizabeth Elliot devotion:
"Life is absurd--on the surface of things--but every bit of it is planned, as Paul goes on to say: 'It is for your sake that all things are ordered, so that, as the abounding grace of God is shared by more and more, the greater may be the chorus of thanksgiving that ascends to the glory of God' (2 Corinthians 4:15, NEB). Maybe Paul's testimony, which has cheered countless millions, will cheer somebody who still faces a dilemma he has begged the Lord to remove. All of Paul's were solved, but not all of them in Paul's way or Paul's time, Selah."

Excerpts of Psalm 37 (NIV)
3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace...

16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the LORD upholds the righteous.
18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever. 19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty...

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm;
24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.
27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;
29 the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever.
30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.
31 The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip...

34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it...

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future [b] for the man of peace.
38 But all sinners will be destroyed; the future [c] of the wicked will be cut off.
39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

If you could pray...

2005-09-26T20:06:00.000-04:00

So much has happened in the last two weeks - some amazing and unexpected, some terrible and bringing much suffering to those around me... but all requiring much prayer for discernment and appropriate response. I am just going to ask for prayer in this hour from all of you in the days to come. This week will continue to be full of asking questions, searching my heart, and turning it toward the Light of Christ who can illuminate the darkness therein. I wish that I could elaborate further, but all will reveal itself in time. There are two specific things that are heavily weighing on my heart presently - one involving myself and making some decisions for the future, and the other related to those around me who I am trying to help in an extremely difficult time. At least this week it is fall break, which allows for much time for prayer, meditation on Scripture (boy, do I need it), and trying to catch up with schoolwork.

I hope that all is well with all of you. Please feel free to leave comments to let me know how you are doing or if you also want to raise prayer requests so that others can pray for you. Sometimes it's easy to forget that real people read these blogs, but we are very real and our prayers are real. Take care and have a very blessed week. I'll keep you posted in the days to come. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I appreciate your prayers.

Things I have learned in the last 48 hours

2005-09-22T09:46:00.000-04:00

1) A 3-pack of caramel apples are currently $1.77 at Walmart.

2) You can get a discount on an alignment when you buy new tires at some establishments.

3) I need to work on my study skills.

4) To make homemade spinach and artichoke dip, you need one frozen package of creamed spinach, one small jar of artichokes, one package of shredded mozzerella cheese, and a microwave.

5) Eating too much homemade spinach and artichoke dip can be hazardous to your health.

6) I spend entirely too much time and money at Walmart.

7) Chips (the parakeet) now knows how to give "kisses."

8) Sometimes there are just no easy answers to the most difficult questions or situations. But God gives strength when we think that we cannot endure it.

9) Loving someone is not always excusing or overlooking his/her sinful behavior. Love is sometimes saying what is difficult to speak and what is difficult to hear.

10) The only thing that we contribute to our salvation is the sin from which we need to be saved (quote from Alistair Begg - I listened to his sermon on his Truth for Life radio program this morning). It is only by His grace that we are able to receive the free gift of salvation, and it is by His grace that we can walk in newness of life - we cannot originate it, we cannot sustain it, and we cannot complete it on our own. He even went so far as to say that when we struggle in our faith, it is a testimony to God's grace because if it were not for His grace then we would not even be able to struggle because we wouldn't even know there was something TO struggle toward. Alistair did a wonderful job of combining the truths of total grace in salvation but also our total responisibility to "work out our salvation through fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12). We do not work FOR our salvation, we do not work IN our salvation... but by the grace of God we are to work OUT our salvation so we may obey and please Him.

Things that I learned today

2005-09-15T23:07:00.000-04:00

1) Mall St. Matthews now has valet parking AND a Cheesecake Factory. Yee haw.

2) My day planner is my best friend.

3) One of Dr. Parker's life goals is to totally eradicate postmodernism from the face of the earth -- and that he is a Trekkie to the core. The man alludes to an episode of Star Trek in every Christian philosophy lecture thus far this semester.

4) Thoughtless words said in jest can be hurtful to those we care about.

5) When you think your stomach is full and you are considering taking a couple more bites, STOP.

6) It is definitely possible to maintain meaningful friendships with people you have previously dated.

7) Sliced cheddar cheese is cheaper than provalone now at Wal-Mart.

8) When you hit a bird with your pickup truck, you can actually see a small cloud of feathers wafting up behind you in your rear view mirror.

**No birds were injured during the making of this blog.

A little bundle of... ahem.

2005-09-15T01:01:00.000-04:00

I got home late this evening and almost ran over this little guy:

She was wandering in the parking lot, just waiting to be squished. So I petted her a little and looked around for her owner -- no such luck. She followed me to my door and when I opened it she ran up the stairs and made herself at home. My roomies and I have decided to let her stay the night and take her to the leasing office in the morning. She is enjoying the finer comforts of an old blanket and small water dish on the balcony.. ah, I can hear her barking for joy out there... for the last hour. It's going to be a long night.

Anyway, today was a great day, but busy busy busy -- work at nine, and left to meet with a professor about my academic future at eleven (yes, I am still working on completing my degree, Lord willing). I am going to stay in the pastoral counseling track and work toward licensure... it's been a terribly long decision making process and if you want more information feel free to contact me but it's far too long (and redundant) for me to express it all on here again.

Anyway, I went back to work to finish the day out, then met up with a friend on campus for our weekly talking time. I did some reading in the library before heading over the BSU to meet our new Kansai Gaidai students from Japan (they are here for ESL for about 2 months -- some of us from the International BSU are helping them move in and get settled, as well as building relationships with them. Anyway, I got to get to know a few of the students and we're looking forward to some shopping tomorrow to get their essentials. After exposing the students to Taco Bell for the first time (talk about a new experience), I met up with another friend at Java and talked until it closed.

Now I'm at home, spent but grateful for all that I saw the Lord do today -- it's funny that in our most desperate moments that God becomes so real to us. One of my professors said that humans tend to learn the most through suffering... I am afraid that it is true. Sometimes we must be brought to the very lowest point in order to finally stop trying to fix our lives, our loved ones, or even ourselves and cry out to the Lord. I don't know why we like to do it the hard way, to equate our wisdom and ability with God... the sin that plagued the first man and woman still permeates their descendants. Father, thank You for Your mercy and incredible patience with us. Remind us that You are the great I AM, all powerful God -- and yet you still know each of us by name and know every small intricacy of ourselves because you created us. Teach us to tremble before You, Father, and to trust You with our lives.

OH, before I forget -- BLOG TAG!! Rabby tagged me, so here are the 5 things I miss:

1) no bills to worry about
2) free tuition at my undergrad
3) Bill Cosby and Pudding Pops (what ever happened to those?)
4) Cookie Monster -- liberal public children's broadcasting has gone too far this time... he is now going to be known as the Carrot Monster. *shudder* What is this world coming to??
5) traveling overseas ... when can I go again?

Oh, and by the way: Jen, Lisa, Kristen, Lindsay, and Zack -- YOU are IT!! You have to tell the 5 things YOU miss and then tag five others... isn't this fun?

All right- I'm about to start drooling on my keyboard so I'm going to bed. Have a good one, and if you know anyone who is missing a spoiled little chihuahua with an Indiana band for a collar and likes to bark her head off all night, let me know. PLEASE.

Would you like a side of peer pressure with your handful of chicken?

2005-09-12T17:29:00.000-04:00

YES!! After much gentle (and not so gentle) nudging, I have FINALLY convinced my roommates Jen and Lisa to create their own blogs ... I convinced them that they were missing out on a whole world of magic, mystery, and enchantment -- so check out their blogs and help me welcome them to the blogosphere!

Last night my roommates and I had my first experience eating Jordanian food - our friends Joey and Mike served there this summer and treated us to a traditional meal of "mensaf" (spelling courtesy of Jen - I hope she was right). Anyway, the guys and our other friend Jason treated us by bringing a huge pan of it to our apartment. We ate the interesting combination of seasoned baked chicken and yogurt/rice concoction in the traditional way of sitting on the floor and eating with our hands. It was really fun and delicious... as the evening progressed a few more people showed up and we enjoyed a great night of eating, talking, and hearing about summer mission trips.

I was also introduced to an interesting new game called "Chili-moo-moo," a CRAZY game involving sharp memory skills, silly animal poses, and outrageous sound effects. At some points we were laughing so hard that I wondered if we were going to be able to keep our dinner down. I just hope the lady living under us doesn't think that we keep an asylum in our apartment... or a zoo.

Anyway, it's back to studying for me -- I have gotten pretty behind on reading but hope to remedy that by Friday. I have realized that I have been posting a lot of serious blogs recently (it seems that I post more when I am wrestling or intensely thinking about something). I don't apologize for any of my posts, but I have realized that I haven't really been posting much about life in general, things that have made me laugh recently, or crazy animal games. I think blogging can be much like preparing meals: meat and potatoes give strength and health, but a little cake once in a while is nice. So, enjoy your slice of Donna pie .... did I actually just say that? Yeesh... maybe I should stick to brooding... have a great week, everybody!

Quiet Sobs

2005-09-11T13:40:00.000-04:00

Today I watched smuggled footage of a North Korean Christian publicly tried and executed for his faith just a few months ago (a woman was also killed, but the footage was not shown). They were declared "traitors" and "betraying their nation." I was horrified and broken hearted at the coldness of it -- the government made it almost like a celebration, inviting onlookers with bright music and announcement. The man was shot after a quick "trial," where basically his execution was announced (they set up the execution post before the "trial" even began). After he was executed, the onlookers were warned that "this is how miserable fools end up," and they stuffed our brother in Christ's body into a bag.
...

I don't even know what to say in response to this. Millions of North Koreans are being starved to death as their leader plays political games and feeds his own greed for wealth and power. My mother was the first person to open my eyes to the atrocities of North Korea -- she is from South Korea for those of you who don't know. When I was ten or twelve I sat with her and watched a copy of a recorded videotape that had been smuggled out of North Korea. The images of starving women and children are still burned into my memory.

Are you aware of the many many MANY followers of Christ who are living in persecution, whose lives are in danger if they are found with a Bible or sharing their faith with their family or friends? Do you want to know what you can do for them?

The Voice of the Martyrs is an excellent resource for finding specific news about countries... they also distribute a free newsletter to enable us to pray specifically for people as well as give us opportunities to help financially, materially, and politically. Go to their website now for more information: http://www.persecution.com/. Pray for our brothers and sisters who suffer. Write to protest the imprisonment of innocent Christians who are being starved and tortured by going to http://www.prisoneralert.com/.

God, forgive me for taking for granted the freedom of reading Your Words, worshipping You publicly without fear, and sharing Your Gospel with others without the possibility of disappearing in the night never to be seen again. We pray for those who do live in this reality: for Your comfort for their hearts and provision for their bodies, for protection and the blinding of authorities who seek to destroy the work of the Gospel, that those authorities will come to a saving knowledge of You through Your Son Jesus Christ, that the truth of Your existence and atonement will be spread throughout all the world, and that our dear brothers and sisters in Christ will be reminded that their suffering will one day be over and they will be able to rest for eternity in Your arms.

"Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, 'Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and you who dwell in them! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and the sea! For the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has a short time.'"
- Revelation 12:10-12

Certainty of the will of God

2005-09-08T12:10:00.000-04:00

Great quote from my Systematic Theology textbook by Wayne Grudem - from the footnotes on pg. 128 in the chapter entitled "The Sufficiency of Scripture":

"Because people from all kinds of Christian traditions have made serious mistakes when they felt confident that God was 'leading them' to make a particular decision, it is important to remember that, except where an explicit text of Scripture applies directly to a situation, we can never have 100 percent certainty in this life that we know what God's will is in a situation. We can only have varying degrees of confidence in different situations. Though our ability to discern God's will should increase as we grown in Christian maturity, we will inevitably make some mistakes. In this regard, I have found helpful a sentence from Edmund Clowney: 'The degree of certainty we have with regard to God's will in a situation is directly proportional to the degree of clarity we have as to how the Word of God applies to the situation'...[emphasis mine].

This made a lot of sense when I read it, and is extremely helpful in my current decision making. If we are followers of Christ, let's be the most diligent in seeking to know the living truth of God's unchanging Word and allow it to shape and direct our lives. Isn't it great to know that we are not just aimless wanderers in this universe making aimless choices, alone and unguided? I need to stop living like this sometimes - so, let's get to really living by the light of God's Word!

Picking, grinning, and slackin

2005-09-07T01:04:00.000-04:00

After a good couple of hours of studying I decided to ditch the books and pick up my guitar for the first time in probably two or three weeks. It was so nice to have the apartment to myself and just play and sing - to pour my heart out to God in song.. it's something that I immensely enjoy when I am alone with the Lord, especially when I have things weighing on my heart.

I also got to finally finish a song that I started shortly after arriving at seminary last year. I was confronted with the realization of how little I shared the good news of the Gospel with people who are lost. At first I tried reasoning my way out of my conviction, saying that evangelism just wasn't my gift, that my lifestyle should say enough about what I believed, etc etc etc. However, God began to show me that while Unbelievers must see consistency with what I believe and how I live (I find this challenging enough by itself), I must also express what makes a relationship with a living God different from just living a good and moral life as well as share with that person the life-giving and life-changing news of the Gospel.

Anyway, God used some very honest and caring friends, Scripture, and many challenging conversations with Unbelievers to show me how much more rewarding it is to lay down my life for the sake of Christ. Am I ashamed of speaking about Him who saved me from a life of death and hopelessness? I shouldn't be, though there are still times when I am hesitant or resist the prompting of the Spirit to speak when I should. I am thankful for His severe mercy and loving discipline to help me become more like Him.

SO, with that said, here is the song "No More." Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, and questions... I am not above contructive criticism (emphasis on "constructive"). Hope this encourages you to also say "no more" to fear of proclaiming the amazing story of how God has saved you from sin and now you walk in newness of eternal life.

No More

(Chorus)
No more will I walk in fear or reservation
And no more will I speak Your name with hesitation
From mountaintops to dark alleyways
My lips will never cease to praise
The Lord Almighty, Loving God who reigns
Lord, grant me strength to stand and proclaim Your name

(Verse 1)
I'm so tired of feeling like I need to apologize
That Christ has set me free - it's hard for me to disguise
See, I was once a lot like you: hurting and confused
I was blinded by my own desires,
The world left me battered and bruised
No matter how hard I tried
I could never be satisfied
My heart was blackened by my sin
What could I do but lie down and give in?
But even though I had no strength to stand in me
Almighty God still had a plan to set me free, so...
(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
In that hour that I believed that I was beyond all help
I remembered what a friend said to me,
And I pulled the Scriptures from the shelf
I read about the wrath of God toward evil in our hearts
That I would be forever cursed and condemned,
God and I forever apart.
But through His mercy and His grace
He sent His perfect Son to take my place
Jesus came and said, "Believe in me,
I've come to break the chains of sin and set you free!"
As I read it seemed too good to be true
I didn't grasp then what His love had lead Him to to, but...
(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Jesus, You came to live, You came to die
Through You the wrath of God was satisfied
I deserved death, but You took my place
The weight of my sin could not over come Your grace
And even now You reign on high
You rose from the dead and one day so will I
Hear Him now - He calls to you
Will You believe and worship the one true God who did this for you? So

(Chorus/Ending)
No more will you walk in fear or reservation
And no more will you speak His name with hesitation
From mountaintops to dark alleyways
Our lips will never cease to praise
The Lord Almighty, Loving GOd who reigns
Lord, grant us strength to stand and proclaim You name!

Intelligent Design, Hurricanes, & the Mercy of God

2005-09-03T09:45:00.000-04:00

Most if not all of you are aware of the devastating results of Hurricane Katrina. You can't turn on the television or browse online without coming face to face with heartbreaking images and stories. Let's remember to be in prayer for those who are in need of rescue and resources, as well as those who are selflessly serving to help them.

If you want to help but don't know how to help, one option is to send funds to the North American Mission Board who is already there helping to provide food, water, and other necessities to residents. I am a trained member of the Kentucky Baptist Convention Disaster Relief Team and stand behind their credibility and hearts to serve (they were on site during 9-11 and Hurricane Andrew, among many other times of crisis). Every small donation helps - please consider giving if you can - you can find contact information here if you are not able to give financially, please give in prayer and look for other opportunities to help the thousands who need it.

During this difficult time for our country, there are many people in the media, in our workplaces, and in our families who are asking the question, "Why did God let this happen," or worse, "If there is a God, He'd better have a good reason for letting this happen." It is an extremely difficult thing to answer, but it is an important one. If we are followers of Christ, we should and MUST have a true and biblical answer - it is crucial that we speak truth to those who are asking sincere questions and are searching for answers.

I got this sermon in my email today from DesiringGod.org ... it gives a poignant and biblical answer to those who look at the devastation of Hurricane Katrina and question God or His goodness. Almighty God, have mercy on us for trying to judge You with our extremely limited and puny knowledge. I hope you all find the article interesting, convincing, and convicting. Feel free to leave comments or prayer requests if you know anyone who has been affected by the hurricane. Take care and have a great weekend.

Was Katrina Intelligent Design?
(click title for permanent link)
September 2, 2005 — Sermons Edition
By John Piper

On his 89th birthday (August 31) NPR Senior News Analyst, Daniel Schorr, observed that President Bush had “staked out a non-position” on the debate between evolution and intelligent design. Bush had said that “both sides ought to be properly taught in the schools of America.” Then, with manifest scorn, Schorr linked the devastation of Hurricane Katrina with the concept of intelligent design: “[Bush] might well have reflected that, if this was the result of intelligent design, then the designer has something to answer for.”

No, Mr. Schorr, you have something to answer for, not God. God answers to no man. Come, Daniel Schorr, take your place with Job and answer your Maker: “The Lord answered Job [and Daniel Schorr] out of the whirlwind and said: ‘Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for actionlike a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. . . . Who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, “Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed”?’” (Job 38:1-3, 8-11).

Who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Shall the pot say to the Potter, “This is an unintelligent way to show your justice and your power? Come, Maker of heaven and earth, sit at my feet—I have lived 89 years and have gotten much wisdom—and I will teach you—the eternal God—how to govern the universe”?

No. Rather let us put our hands on our mouths and weep both for the perishing and for ourselves who will soon follow. Whatever judgment has fallen, it is we who deserve it—all of us. And whatever mercy is mingled with judgment in New Orleans neither we nor they deserve.

God sent Jesus Christ into the world to save sinners. He did not suffer massive shame and pain because Americans are pretty good people. The magnitude of Christ’s suffering is owing to how deeply we deserve Katrina—all of us.

Our guilt in the face of Katrina is not that we can’t see the intelligence in God’s design, but that we can’t see arrogance in our own heart. God will always be guilty of high crimes for those who think they’ve never committed any.

But God commits no crimes when he brings famine, flood, and pestilence on the earth. “Does disaster come to a city, unless the Lord has done it?” (Amos 3:6). The answer of the prophet is no. God’s own testimony is the same: “I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things” (Isaiah 45:7). And if we ask, is there intelligent design in it all, the Bible answers: “You meant evil . . . but God meant it [designed it] for good” (Genesis 50:20).

This will always be ludicrous to those who put the life of man above the glory of God. Until our hearts are broken, not just for the life-destroying misery of human pain, but for the God-insulting rebellion of human sin, we will not see intelligent design in the way God mingles mercy and judgment in this world. But for those who bow before God’s sovereign grace and say, “From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever,” they are able to affirm, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Romans 11:36, 33). And wisdom is another name for intelligent design.

No, Daniel Schorr, God does not answer to us. We answer to him. And we have only one answer: “Guilty as charged.” Every mouth is stopped and the whole world is accountable before God. There is only one hope to escape the flood of God’s wrath. It is not the levee of human virtue but the high ground called Calvary. All brokenhearted looters and news analysts and pastors are welcome there.
Famine Flood and Failing Fortune

Meditation on Psalm 105:16

When the staff is broken,
And in judgment spoken
Righteousness is heard,
Think not God is silent,
Though the famine violent,
This is but His word.
He stands not to give account.
It is we who must before Him.
Come, let us adore Him!

When the flood is breaking
And your fear is waking,
Comfort not your soul,
Thinking the Almighty
Yielded up the right He
Once had to control.
Every river and the seas
Do His sovereign bidding purely.
This is comfort surely.

When your fortunes fail you,
Deep diseases ail you
And your death is near,
Know that Christ your Maker
He alone is Taker
Of your life and fear,
Fall before His power and pray:
Jesus, I now trust you merely,
You have bought me dearly.

On Blogging Hiatus

2005-08-29T19:36:00.000-04:00

Mood: Task-oriented.... sort of
Playing: My bathroom fan running and Chip's classical station in the other room

I have really been on blogging overkill the last week or so... most of it out of my present wrestlings and thoughts. Thanks to all of you for your posts, encouragement, and challenges (Penguins - I responded to your comment in my last entry -- please check it out and respond as you wish). I am beginning to form a more definite decision about specific ministry to move toward, but I don't want to post it until I am more confident about it.

Also, in regard to my title: I wanted to give a disclaimer in case I become less frequent in my blogs, or possibly less lengthy and/or without as much content (some of you may be relieved - I think I exhausted myself by thinking too much!) :) But really, I am behind in my studies already and I really want to be more disciplined in my classes. Also, we had our first meeting for SNT (the International BSU meetings at U of L)... I have been blessed with the opportunity to organize/lead the music this year, and it has been wonderful but also time-consuming. Please pray for us and the new students that we will be able to establish friendships and minister to them in a way that meets their greatest needs. For those of you in the Louisville area who desire to minister to internationals: please contact me for information - we could always use more help!

On a closing note, I have been reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer for my Systematic Theology class. We are to use it as a supplement to our daily devotions, and I have really been enjoying it. This writing is meant for the "average Joe," and doesn't require an education in theology to understand. Elizabeth Elliot said Packer "plainly shows us ordinary folks what it means to know God." It has influenced such people as Michael Card and Charles Swindoll - it's practical, inspiring, and easy to read. I highly recommend checking it out. Here is an excerpt to (hopefully) whet your appetite:

Excerpt from Chapter 3, "Knowing and Being Known":
"What matters supremely, therefore, is not, in the last analysis, the fact that I know God, but the larger fact which underlies it - the fact that he knows me. I am graven on the palms of his hands. I am never out of his mind. All my knowledge of him depends on his sustained initiative in knowing me. I know him because he first knew me, and continues to know me. He knows me as a friend, one who loves me; and there is not moment when his eye is off me, or his attention distracted from me, and no moment, therefore, when his care falters.
"This is tremendous knowledge. There is unspeakable comfort - the sort of comfort that energizes, be it said, not enervates - in knowing that God is constantly taking knowledge of me in love and watching over me for my good. There is tremendous relief in knowing that his love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench his determination to bless me.
"There is, certainly, great cause for humility in the thought that he sees all the twisted things about me that my fellow humans do not see (and am I glad!), and that he sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself (which, in all conscience, is enough). There is, however, equally great incentive to worship and love God in the thought that, for some unfathomable reason, he wants me as his friend, and desires to be my friend, and has given his Son to die for me in order to realize this purpose. We cannot work these thoughts out here, but merely to mention them is enough to show how much it means to know not merely that we know God, but that he knows us."

Interested? Get a copy of the book and learn more about what it means to know God!

Do I want to help people?

2005-08-25T11:24:00.000-04:00

Mood: Passionate

A fellow blogger left a very thought-provoking question on my last post, and - I hope he doesn't mind- I would like to respond and open the floor for your input. FYI: I actually maintain two blogs but usually post the same on both - this comment was posted on my other blog at http://donnawonna.modblog.com

The questions were:
"Do you want to help people?
or
Do you want to help people find the Lord?
Both of these missions are grounded in the Gospel. Which one do you feel led to?"

Great question, Penguins.
I would say that there is only one answer to both questions: I want to help people, but the only way to really help them to is to lead them to the saving knowledge and changing power of God through Christ. He is the only lasting Cure for broken people. Often secular psychology methods - this is even admitted by those who practice/teach it - seeks to alleviate symptoms of their emotional/mental problems and issues. They do not profess to give a cure or to permanently relieve the client/counselee of their issues... they aim to help the person function more normally in society. It often becomes a "revolving door" effect, in that the person comes to counseling, feels better for a while, then comes back to the same problems and the cycle starts all over again.

I have a deep compassion and burden for those who are struggling and suffering emotionally and mentally. But the greatest thing I can do when attempting to help them is admit that I can do nothing to cure them. In and of myself, I do not possess the power to cure someone of their wrong thinking, depression, anxiety, marital problems, etc. However, I CAN point them to the source of all healing: our Father God through His Son Jesus Christ. I don't mean to make it sound simplistic - it is not as simple as having people pray the Sinner's prayer, read some Scripture pertaining to the topic, and send them packing. Rather, it is helping them first come to an understanding of their utter brokenness and sinfulness, as well as the reality of a loving God who made a way for us to be restored to a body/mind/spirit that will one day be completely released from sin and its effects - sickness, suffering, depression, and death. By Jesus' death/punishment for our sins and His resurrection proving His power over sin and death, we can live in hope that we will one day be free of the sin and suffering that bears down on us in our present state. And not only do we have a promise of that after we die, but that the effects of eternal life and renewal begin at the point that we accept Christ as our Savior and trust Him with our lives, and the Holy Spirit begins to change our hearts and minds (John 17:3, Romans 12:1-2). We encourage them to follow Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to change them from the inside out - God, our Creator, is the only one who can really change a person so who else should we direct them to?

I have a deep desire to bring the radical power of this reality to not only people who have not believed God for salvation, but also to those who have accepted Christ but have not acknowledged the power of God to transform them. So many people in the church - saved and unsaved - do not realize the tremendous power that the Gospel can have on their lives. I want to teach people to think rightly and according to God's Word, to have a fuller understanding of who God is and who we are because of who He says we are. I want to help them understand the practical implications of Scripture and the Gospel in their lives: in their relationships with God and others and in their spiritual, emotional and mental struggles -since every one influences the other.

So, I guess in a word my mission is the Gospel, as it is for every believer. However, I am beginning to believe that my personal calling is to specifically lead people to the changing power of the Gospel in every aspect of their lives, including their emotional and mental struggles. The location or avenue of ministry is insignificant - the need is universal and is cross-cultural.

Now I ask you: if you are a Believer of Jesus Christ, what is YOUR ministry of the Gospel? Is it to live according to and for the glory of the Gospel in business or in an office setting? Is it to live the Gospel by how you serve at a restaurant, in government, in science, in teaching? How are you living the Gospel - or how do you THINK you should be living the Gospel? Please comment - I would love to hear your input on this.

Praying for clarity

2005-08-23T10:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I approached one of my professors and asked for information/advice about some of the changes going on in the counseling program here at Southern (there is a total radical change going on in the program - focus moving from licensure and integrating some aspects of secular psychology into Christian counseling- to the "biblical counseling" model, in which Scripture is the only reliable source of truth and help for those in need of counseling). I am somewhere in the middle of this argument, and I am trying to find the truly God-honoring method between the two.

I am fully convinced that the Scriptures are ultimate truth and that it should be the one thing that we gauge our entire concept of truth and knowledge on. I also agree that a large percentage of secular psychological theories, methods, and therapies are based on philosophies that are totally in contradiction with Scripture and therefore I reject them as false. However, I also believe that there are elements of psychological research and concepts that in and of themselves can be useful to shape helpful biblical teachings and methods of counseling. BUT I am firmly convinced that each observation and method must be held up to Scripture to prove its validity and true helpfulness in helping hurting people. The only true solution to broken people is to coming into a saving relationship with God through Jesus Christ -- all of true biblical counseling should point to this and facilitate reconciliation with God. It is our greatest need and the only true cure - apart from Christ counseling can only deal with symptoms but never achieve true healing.

I don't remember if I have blogged about this whole issue before, but it has been something that I have wrestled with since my undergrad at Berea (I majored in psychology), but has become a crucial argument since I have arrived at Southern, since I am investing in preparing for counseling in the future - in whatever capacity that is. What makes it so difficult is that I have been praying for three years for clarity, that God would set me on a clear path and give me strength to walk it. However, three years have passed and I still have not gotten a clear direction or answer.

I talked to yet another professor yesterday and felt so foolish and frustrated when I left -- I got the same answer: "You need to pray for clarity on what God is calling you to." I was so tempted to say, "OHH, so THAT'S what I have been doing wrong! Do you think that I HAVEN'T been praying this for the last three years?" But of course, I just thanked him for his time and then went to my car and cried.

This all began in the fall of my senior year in college. Within one semester all of my plans and preconceived notions about my future were ripped away and I was left shaking and confused. I realized then that I had built my future on the sand of my own ambitions and ideas, and that God desired something better. So for two months I prayed and sought the Lord, confessing my sin and waiting for direction.

But it didn't come.

By spring semester I was beginning to respond to God in anger - I had a very self-focused attitude: I felt my entire world had been ripped apart and I had nothing to put in its place. But during the months that followed God taught me that I didn't have to know the grand scheme of what He had planned for me. I knew through the Scripture what He was calling me to do everyday: to love the Lord with all of myself and to obey His commands. Doesn't sound so glamorous, does it? But I am firmly convinced that He was teaching me that year and is still teaching me that, I suppose: to love Him, know Him, trust Him, and to serve Him everyday. And that it is enough to be satisfied.

You know what is so funny? In the last three years of uncertainty of the future, God has led me by baby steps at a time. And you know, there hasn't been a boring day since. Since that time of silence from Him, He has given me opportunities to serve in two other countries, to teach and lead worship at college events and at churches, to begin recording songs I have written - a lifelong dream, to learn consistency and discipline by daily serving at different offices and working with Believers and Unbelievers, to come to seminary under the teaching of amazing professors and learn truth that can change lives, to work with international students and witness God revealing Himself to them, and to develop in me a burning desire to see all nations come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Father, You have promised that You are faithful to complete the work that You have begun in us (Phillipians 1:6). Teach us to be ever faithful to You and content where we are. Please forgive me of my impatience and fears of the future - even when I don't know what the future holds, I know that You are good. I know that just as Your people Israel you know the plans that You have for us to give us a hope and a future.. oh God, bring us to the point of total submission - that we would seek You with all of our hearts, so that we may be found by You (Jeremiah 29).

Are you concerned about the future - fearful, uncertain, confused? Trust Him with your life - give it ALL to Him. Don't try to depend on your own intellect, ideas, ambitions, and strengths. He WILL direct your paths -you only need to trust and obey. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Truth will stand the test of fire

2005-08-21T23:14:00.000-04:00

In my last blog entry, I wrote a lot about a topic of intense interest to me for the last few weeks: identifying and developing a true biblical worldview. And in case you didn't know, I actually maintain two separate blogs but post the same entries on them (this one is primarily to link to the SBTS blog network, while my other (and older) blog is my preferred account - I use it to keep in touch with my old youth group as well as provoking thought about spiritual matters, friends and strangers alike.

Now, usually I will leave long, pour-out-my-soul entries like the one I left last time, and no one ususally leaves many comments about it. However, the last entry provoked a response, which I was thrilled about. A stranger posted a long comment, which you can read here, as well as my response. I would really appreciate any feedback about either the comment left by the anonymous blogger or mine. I really desire to have a biblical view and response to this -- I'm still a theological midget, as I am taking my first real theology classes this semester. Also, I think that my readers at Modblog.com would benefit from another seminary student's insight. Please take a moment to reflect and respond. If you have any difficulty linking, go to http://donnawonna.modblog.com and see the latest post. I will also post the two comments here for your convenience.

Posted by: Penguins
"That's an amazing statement of faith.
(Thanks for the book recommendation as well)
You write:
What is sad is that even professing Christians are often guilty of adopting practices and ideas that are inconsistent with a biblical worldview but have no problem with it, because they say, "Yes, well, this doesn't have anything to do with my faith,"

However, I do disagree with this statement -- especially in terms of politics. For it does appear that there is a difference between affecting the world as a Christian and affecting Christianity with the world.
When Christians look at everything in terms of their faith, (believe me, I'm guilty of this too) sometimes the "things" (science, politics, economics, lifestyle) start to crowd out the true mandates of the Gospels: evangelism, charity, and observance of the Law -- actually, these priorities should probably be in reverse order (Luke 18:18-23).
Political initiatives, referendums, and Constitutional amendments need to be only aftershocks from our walking-the-talk through this world. If we keep the mandates of the Gospels in focus -- and not which party to vote for, or whether evolution should be taught, etc. -- the secular political and social structures can't help but be shaken up.
Don't get the wrong idea. I belong to an urban church whose Sunday services are frequented by politicians and community leaders; of course this isn't a "bad" thing. Local, state, and federal government can certainly use more men and women in Christ.
At the same time, Jesus never instructed his disciples to pursue a political agenda. Why wouldn't he? The Roman Empire was the most advanced civilization in the Ancient World, and Israel was being overtly oppressed by it. Why wouldn't He follow a political mission and do everything He could to free the State?
There's a story in all four Gospels that I just don't hear ministers preach enough about; Matthew 22:15-22 is very clear about the event.
Pharisees ask Jesus if it's lawful to pay taxes to Caesar; indeed, this is a trick question. For if He says "no" in front of the Herodians (also present), then Christ can be accused of sedition against the Roman Empire. If He says "yes", then the Pharisees can accuse him of basically endorsing the oppression of Israel.
Jesus sees through this trick -- calls them "hypocrites." He asks them to show Him the coin used to pay for the tax. And when they bring the coin to Him, He asks, "Whose likeness and inscription is this?" They say, "Caesar's."
Then He gives the perfect reply: "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's."
That shuts up everybody.
And it's a great account.
Because too often, it seems that some modern day Christians are rendering to Caesar that which is God's. They're doing more "stuff" -- picket signs, partisan lobbying -- than charity; more "things" than evangelism; and certainly more prescription of the Law than observance of it.
So when other believers say, "this doesn't have anything to do with my faith," I'm convinced that they actually mean, "As a man or woman of faith, this should not take priority."
But regardless, if your writings are any indication of your spiritual walk, then my rantings don't apply to you anyway. Try to take it easy on the rest of us, though, alright? ;)
And many thanks for an engaging topic."

I responded:
"On the contrary, Penguins -- I really appreciate your response and that you thought about what I said. This is exactly why I post these kinds of things... I WANT people to think and respond. I need to be challenged in what I say, think, and practice. Truth will stand the test of fire, and if it's not truth then it won't... we MUST engage in discussions like this to test what we believe and practice. So, thank you!!
In response to your comment, if I understand you correctly I think that I agree with you in part but also want to clarify my comment. What I hear you saying is that our focus should primarily be on evangelism and caring for souls moreso than pursuing a political agenda and making fools of ourselves before Unbelievers. I couldn't agree with you more -- the Gospel should be our greatest passion as followers of Christ.
The point that I wanted to drive home (which I probably should clarify - thank you for bringing this to my attention) is that if we are followers of Christ, justified by faith and have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us and fully believe that the Word of God is true and the basis for our daily lives, we should not make everyday choices and hold beliefs that are contradicting to that. It amazed me how we as Believers can compartmentalize our lives so that we say one thing but our lives say something completely different. We see some things in our lives as under the Supremacy of Christ, while we see other things as strictly personal preference and unrelated to our faith. This cannot be - we are to be living sacrifices to God (Romans 12:1-2). When animals were sacrificed in the Old Covenant, they didn't take parts of an animal to offer to GOd and let the other half of the animal go walk around freely at its own free will (I have to admit, it's a funny picture). But the WHOLE animal was used as a sacrifice -- so we should be. Paul connects this idea of becoming living sacrifices with the concept that we are not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom. 12:2). The way we see the world, the way we live in it, and the way in interact with it is changed by the Spirit of God dwelling in us. It is impossible to separate the two -- one affects the other. One of my favorite quotes that has greatly impacted me this year is by C.J. Mahaney, and in my mind it connects what we are both saying: "If there is anything in life that we should be passionate about, it's the gospel. And I don't mean passionate only about sharing it with others. I mean passionate in thinking about it, dwelling on it, rejoicing in it, allowing it to color the way we look at the world. Only one thing can be of first importance to each of us. And only the gospel ought to be."
I would like to challenge you a bit further with this thought, though I'm afraid that I may not articulate this well, but I will think more about this and try to post further -- Feel free to reply, I don't claim to be inerrent in my beliefs or understanding of Scripture. I am in need of teaching as well (which is why I'm at seminary!), so your comments are welcome...
Evangelism and discipleship is by far one of the most important responsibilities that we have as followers of Christ -- one of Jesus' last words before He ascended into heaven points to this: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 18-20, NIV, emphasis mine).
What does it mean to make disciples? First, to share the Gospel - the Good News - with those that are lost: That though we are born sinful and incapable of saving ourselves because we are spiritual dead, Jesus - the Son of the one true God - came to live a perfect, sinless life and out of obedience to the Father offered himself as a sacrifice for our sins out of God's amazing love and mercy toward sinful man. Through this we may have total forgiveness from God, because His wrath against sin has been poured out on the perfect sacrifice of Jesus. Not only that, but Jesus proved His power over death and was resurrected back to life -- so we as those who have been saved from sin have the promise of the resurrection: being resurrected spiritually at the point of conversion (2 Corinthians 5:16-17), then the resurrection of our minds as the Holy Spirit who enters our hearts when we are made alive in Christ begins the work of making us more like Christ -also called "sanctification" (Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 5:5, and many others-ask if you want more), and eventually even physically as we will be given new bodies that are free from sin and suffering (2 Corinthians 4:13-5:10).
Okay, with that said (I know, that was a bit tangential - sorry, just wanted to make the message of the Gospel clear for those reading who don't know what the Gospel is), becoming a disciple of Christ first means accepting the Gospel and living in newness of life with Christ by the grace of God.
Looking at the example of the early church and the apostles following the command of Christ in the book of Acts, we see that people from all walks of life were coming to know Christ - Ethiopian eunuchs (Acts 8:26-39), wealthy businesswomen (Acts 16:11-15), and military leaders (Acts 10). Now, when they became followers of Christ, did they all stop doing their jobs and fully committed themselves to just preaching the Gospel and working in the church? The Scriptures do not indicate this at all. They more than likely continued in their works, but now they did their work for the glory of God. Why should we be any different?
Now, am I saying that God doesn't call certain people to commit their lives to evangelism, teaching, and preaching? Certainly not! I am at seminary to prepare to go into full time "vocational" ministry as a biblical counselor. We NEED people who are fully dedicated to understanding and teaching Scripture accurately. However, if we only limit the term "ministry" to people who are on salary at local churches and para-church organizations, then we are missing the point of what it means to be the "ministers of reconciliation," a calling on believer's life (2 Corinthians 5:16-21). Wherever you are, whatever God has called you to do - do it for the glory of God. If you are an accountant, janitor, Congressman, or whatever, and you are also a follower of Christ - do the tasks God has called you do to in such a way that follows his commands and glorifies Him.
So, I suppose what I want to challenge every follower of Christ to do is not to consider anything you do apart from living for the glory of God - your jobs, your relationships, your families, anything. Paul challenged us to think in this way: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God" (1 Corithians 10:31) In comparison for what He has done for us, we can do no less."

Please comment here or (preferably) on my other blog for the benefit of others -- thanks!

Woo Hoo!! INTERNET!!

2005-08-09T22:09:00.000-04:00

As of yesterday afternoon, my roommates and I finally got high-speed internet in our apartment - YES!! Anyway, we've been without internet since we officially moved out of the dorms July 11... we have all been amazed at how much we depend on internet and email. It's almost the equivalent to not having a phone - weird. Welcome to the 21st century.

Not much has really happened the last few weeks since I posted, so don't feel jipped - you didn't miss anything in the oh-so-exciting life of Donna Millard. Most of my time has been consumed with work and moving in... I think we're pretty settled in. Good thing, since classes start on Monday... where did the summer go?? Anyway, we have a new addition to our little family: Chips the parakeet.

Ain't he cute?

Other than that, not much has happened. Well, except that I am currently fighting a kidney infection/UTI (I know - WAAAAAAY too much information for some of you). Talk about knocking me on my tush - I have been sick for almost a week and I'm just beginning to feel relatively normal. A few more days of antibiotics, gallons and gallons of water, and cranberry juice (ick) and I should be fine. However, it did come just in time to ruin my camping/fishing plans for the weekend (see my friend Robbie's blog for more info). Ah well - the Lord knew, and it proved to be a very restful weekend.

Also, during this time I have been able to spend more concentrated time in the Scriptures and reading this incredible book, Total Truth by Nancy Pearcey. I don't have time to really delve into it, but it talks about the issue of people who separate religion and their real world (i.e. science, politics, economics, lifestyle). It's amazing and very revealing. What is sad is that even professing Christians are often guilty of adopting practices and ideas that are inconsistent with a biblical worldview but have no problem with it, because they say, "Yes, well, this doesn't have anything to do with my faith," when in fact as a follower of Christ EVERYTHING in our lives is related to our faith. NOTHING in our lives is separate from our relationship with God. That includes beliefs of science, politics, economics, work ethic, relationships, materialism, recreation, EVERYTHING. The thing is, everyone functions in some form of faith system, even in they don't realize it, Pearcey says. We are creatures of worship - it is part of who we are, by God's design. However, because of sin we displace God and worship other things in its place, allowing it to form the way we look at the world... it can be anything: science, a person, a desire, materialism, anything. As followers of Christ, we must live in the reality of who God as who He says He is and who we are in relation to that truth. Are we? Where are our inconsistencies? What untruth have we adopted?

The thing I've noticed over the last year as I have been more bold in sharing the Gospel with others is that some skeptics love to try to confound Christians and put them on the defense, trying to point out weaknesses in their arguments. However, if you put their beliefs and views up to the same test, they realize that their views are extremely inconsistent and that a true biblical worldview proves consistent with all parts of reality. However, if you are a follower of Christ, you should be sure that you know what a true biblical worldview looks like and that you are consistently striving toward that true biblical worldview through the grace of God. If you are not a follower of Christ, what are you putting your faith in? Is it a reliable source? How can you be sure? Are you ideas consistent with reality? These are important questions that everyone should ask themselves - it's the difference between life and death.

Ravi Zacharias, a former Hindu and now world-renouned apologetic speaker and philosopher, says that after studying and breaking down many of the major (and minor) religions of the world, Christianity is the only one that he found to stand as the most consistent and the most logical religion. It's a strong statement, but it's a statement I will stand by as well. I am constantly having to struggle and wrestle with difficult questions and nagging doubts, but God is faithful to grant us to find Him when we search for Him with all our heart (Jeremiah 29:13). The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge (Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 9:10, Job 28:28) - so find out who this God is.

Check out the book, Total Truth. The woman who wrote it is actually a former Athiest who after years of searching and questioning has drawn the same conclusion as Zacharias and defends the importance of a true biblical worldview in a world full of postmodernism and inconsistencies. Truth is NOT relative, so you better be sure that what you believe is really truth.

Do we want an answer?

2005-07-19T09:59:00.000-04:00

I am on the Elizabeth Elliot devotional email list, and received this in my devotional this morning. I was convicted about how quickly I will "vent" my feelings about things, people, and situations without really having a purpose or hoping it will be something profitable in the end (1 Corinthian 10:23). God, forgive me for the way I so quickly let putrid and destructive words flow from my heart and out of my mouth to contaminate others. Please grant me grace and strength to always go first to Your word and to Your threshhold on my knees in prayer.

Do You Want an Answer? By Elizabeth Elliot

"This is the question we need to ask ourselves when we are seeking 'solutions' to our problems. Often we want only an audience. We want the chance to air grievances, to present our excuses, to make an explanation for our behavior, rather than a cure. More often than not the clearest and most direct answer can be found in the Word, but it must be sought honestly.

'The way of the Lord gives refuge to the honest man, but dismays those who do evil' (Prv. 10:29 NEB).

"We can approach God's word with a will to obey whatever it says to us about our present situation, or we can avoid it and say to anyone who would try to point us to it, "Don't throw the Book at me." The latter is an evasion, which supports our suspicion that our problems are, in fact, insoluble. The honest (i.e., humble) heart will indeed find the Lord's way to be a refuge."

Wrestling Match, Round 2,432,753: Donna's Flesh vs. Holy Spirit

2005-07-18T11:41:00.000-04:00

Hello, bloggers - I am not dead or lying on the side of the highway somewhere. It seems that this summer has not been as relaxing as I had anticipated, though it has been a good summer. Here are the highlights... (what is up with me and highlights??):

Highlights:
1) Moved across the river to southern Indiana with friends Jen and Lisa - really nice spacious apartment with vaulted ceilings and a private balcony with a view of a lake... okay, it's more like a fancy pond someone dug up, but it's nice
2) Obtained LOTS of free furniture - God has really blessed us in this way, even with a free barely used washer/dryer for us to borrow for a year; we're still waiting for some of it to get to our apartment. We're also looking for twin mattress sets that don't cost an arm and a leg- so far we're bunking on the living room floor using a futon mattress that someone gave us, but two of us have asthma from the dust on the floor. Please pray for wisdom and discernment in being good stewards of our finances
3) Continuing with international student ministries, though it has been scarce since moving has taken up so much time the last three weeks. I am going to pick back up with a bible study I was having with a Chinese couple from last spring starting in August
4) Last week I led the music and the music station at Lisa's church (she is the children's minister there). It was a great week and a lot of fun, but honestly it was also exhausting. Twelve children indicated a desire to learn more about accepting Christ, and six of them made a decision to accept Christ as their Savior and to follow Him as their Lord.. the majority of them were unchurched kids who had never heard the Gospel before. Praise God for His mercy toward such precious children - pray that their decisions be sincere and that the church commits itself to discipleship for them.
5) This week I am picking up a second job to make some extra flow-jo ($$) to cover rent next month and try to save for books. It's a great blessing and just in time, but I'm going to be dead come Friday night. Please pray for strength.
6) Looking forward to seeing Dan & Teresa in town - not entirely sure what is going on with the get togethers- can someone help me out? Thanks
7) Helping to drive for the Mammoth Cave trip this Sunday 24th for International BSU - it will be fun... the students have been looking forward to this for about two months. Pray for safety and good conversations with the students, as many of them are curious about Jesus and the Gospel

Confession:
Spiritually, I have been suffering the last month... actually since I got back from Japan. It's been sort of hit and miss - I'm just confessing this to you all. It's not that I sense God being distant - quite the contrary. It's like I sense Him being near, but I'm holding Him at a distance. I have built up a wall between Him and I with my sin, fear of change and sanctification, and distractions. I find that in those times I become increasingly self-centered, frustrated, and depressed. When I take my eyes off of Christ it's like they are magnetized to myself - and the more I look at myself apart from Christ the most discouraged I become. The more I look at myself the less I desire to go to God out of shame - I won't even bring myself to read His Scriptures, which contain life and truth that my spirit desperately needs.

I came to almost a breaking point yesterday, so weary from the past two months and so self-centered and irritated that I couldn't even enjoy the worship service yesterday morning. All I wanted to do was cry or scream or something, anything. I talked with Lisa a bit last night and she let me have the apartment to myself for a while to just rest and to get into the Scriptures. I was journaling and a verse in Psalm 37 came to mind. I looked it up and began to read over the chapter. It was like ointment to my soul - I began to cry and confess my stubbornness and my sin to the Lord. It was like I was holding God away at a distance until I was so weary that I dropped my arms and let Him hold me. God is so patient with us, even when we act childishly and selfishly for long periods of time. I cling to His faithfulness and His deliverance from the darkness of sin in my heart. I also am committing to become more disciplined in getting up early again to begin my day in prayer and Scripture reading, as well as spending more time during the evening in Scripture - my need for it is overwhelming and I see the consequences of neglecting it very clearly.

How is your relationship with God? Have you been holding Him at a distance? I encourage you to stop fighting and stop gripping onto your apathy, your selfishness, your despair. Let the power of God transform your life. Sometimes we only want an emotional rush or experience from God to make us feel better or closer to Him - but it's the daily walk with God through the Scripture and continual worship through every action, thought, and word that proceeds from us that will have the most lasting effects. Those "mountaintop" experiencing are great, but we cannot sustain them - it would keep our faith shallow and not push us to go deeper and rely on faith more than feelings. Relish those times and experiences when God is so near you can almost feel His breath brush your cheek- but don't just live for those moments. Live with the desire to know God in the everyday, because as Jesus said, "This is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whome you have sent" (John 17:3). If you have accepted the forgiveness of your sin from God through the death and resurrection of Jesus, then you can experience eternal life NOW - through knowing God more everyday.

Please feel free to leave your comments/prayer requests. I'd like to know how you all are doing and I apologize for not being in touch more - I don't have internet at my apartment yet so I am trying to catch up on emails during breaks at work. Anyway, take care everyone and hope to see some of you soon!

The Misery of Job and the Mercy of God

2005-07-02T17:16:00.000-04:00

Mood: Broken Playing: Be Thou My Vision

Thank you all for your encouragement - it means so much that you all took the time to listen to it and give some feedback. I really want you all to get to hear the whole song, but I am hesitant to put the entire thing online presently because it's not copyrighted. I am going to really buckle down and work out a few more songs in the next few months, get them recorded, and then have them copyrighted at once (it's cheaper to copyright one CD with ten songs than to do them individually) - it's kinda pricey as well, but I think it's part of being a good steward of what God gives you. Anyway, if you all are really interested in getting a copy of the whole thing on a burned CD (nothing special, just put on a generic CD-ROM), let me know and we can work out sending you a copy. I'll keep you posted.

I don't know how much I have shared with you all about what has been going on since I got back from Japan, but life has been trying and God is gradually burning away the things in my heart that are hindering me from knowing Him more. It has come through an unexpected vehicle: the death of my friend's father. She got the news three days after I got back from Japan. His death was very unexpected and very difficult for her and her family - he was only 48 and left behind a wife with whom he shared a passionate love with, and five children - the oldest being my friend... and the youngest is nine years old.

I was privileged to help drive her home the day they found out and to experience and witness the grief of her family. In the days and weeks that have followed, I feel like I myself have lost a loved one, though I had never physically met her father. We live together in the dorms, and she is one of my two closest friends here at seminary. The three of us have weathered the storm of loss and grief together, though we as friends cannot experience the weight of grief that our friend is experiencing. We have good days and bad days, but in all of them God has proven Himself faithful and the greatest comfort of all. As John Piper says, "The great purpose of life is not to stay alive, but to magnify -whether by life or by death -the One who created us and died for us and lives as Lord of all forever, Jesus Christ." My friend's father knew this, and tried to live according to this. Death has a way of reminding us of the importance of making every day count, not to live for ourselves but to leave a legacy behind us that clearly points to the saving One, Jesus Christ. I hope that when my days are over that others will say this about myself.

So let's choose together to surrender everything - our desires, our plans, our material goods, our relationships - to Him. He will fulfill them for His glory and teach us a more excellent way, which is knowing God and trusting Him, even in the midst of loss and uncertainty. Here is an excerpt of an amazing book/poem by John Piper called The Misery of Job and the Mercy of God. I was reading it this morning and listening to the enclosed CD that has Piper reading the poem aloud, and it really rocked me. Here is an excerpt:

Sometimes the spark of faith is slight
And does not make the darkness bright
But keep it lit, and you will find
Far better this than being blind
One little flame when all is night
Proves there is such a thing as Light
Remember now the place and price
Where Jesus promised Paradise
One answered prayer when all is gone
Will give you hope to wait for dawn.

Listen to my song online!

2005-07-01T05:26:00.000-04:00

WOO HOO!! After several hours of trial and error with shareware, reviewing my html coding, and googling for lots of help, I have finally gotten two clips of the "Surrender Song" online for your listening pleasure. You can access them on my website Donna Wonna 2.0.

Thanks for your patience, and thanks to Nathan for reminding me that I am a slacker and needed to get back on the ball. Seriously, thanks to so many of you who have encouraged me through the last 10+ years in my songwriting, playing, and singing. Several of you actually heard my first attempts at writing songs (hoo, boy - it hurts to think about it) and my first attempts at guitar playing (I don't know which is worse). Anyway, thanks for encouraging me to stick with it - God has truly used it for His glory. Music has served as an outlet for me in the midst of my worst difficulties and seeking. A few people have already shared how much this song has touched them, which meant so much to me. I have even had people who are not Believers say that it really touched them - pray for God to continue to use this as another opportunity to share.

Well, there it is. I hope you enjoy the clips - please be sure to give me some feedback about them. It will probably never be produced professionally, but it is the revelations of a sinner who by the grace of such a merciful God has begun to learn more about being a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1-2).

Now it's about 5:30am and I have to get up for work in about 3 hours. Eh, it's worth it. :)

Insufficient spiritual funds

2005-06-28T11:50:00.000-04:00

Psalm 116

I love the Lord, because He has heardMy voice and my supplications.
2 Because He has inclined His ear to me,Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
3 The pains of death surrounded me,And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me;I found trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called upon the name of the Lord:"O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!"

5 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;Yes, our God is merciful.
6 The Lord preserves the simple;I was brought low, and He saved me.
7 Return to your rest, O my soul,For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
8 For You have delivered my soul from death,My eyes from tears,And my feet from falling.

9 I will walk before the LordIn the land of the living.
10 I believed, therefore I spoke,"I am greatly afflicted."
11 I said in my haste,"All men are liars."

12 What shall I render to the LordFor all His benefits toward me?
13 I will take up the cup of salvation,And call upon the name of the Lord.
14 I will pay my vows to the LordNow in the presence of all His people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LordIs the death of His saints.
16 O Lord, truly I am Your servant;I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;You have loosed my bonds.

17 I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,And will call upon the name of the Lord.
18 I will pay my vows to the Lord Now in the presence of all His people,
19 In the courts of the Lord's house,In the midst of you, O Jerusalem.Praise the Lord!

The only worthy thing we can do to "repay" God for His mercy and grace is to simply lift up our empty cups and call on His name, asking for more: more of His mercy and grace, more of His love, more of HIM. There is no service great enough, no sacrifice big enough, no action righteous enough to "repay" God or to "make it up to Him" - every good thing we do makes us more indebted to Him and His mercy for freeing us to love Him and know Him.

If you think you have "made a deal" with God and feel like you have to "repay" Him, STOP. Recognize that in every moment you are only being suspended above the flames of hell by a thin thread - God's grace. But that thin thread is strong, and will not break. Live a lifestyle of clinging to the cross - because it is truly the only sure thing we can hold to and keeps us from being lost in a dark, trecherous sea forever.

Stop trying to repay God or match Him - lift up your empty cups and ask for more of Him, because THAT is the most glorifying thing we can do. Walk with me and learn this with me - it is such a hard lesson, but it is crucial for us to learn so that GOD is truly glorified.

Good resource for more of this teaching: Desiring God - John Piper ministries

No rest for the weary

2005-06-08T19:21:00.000-04:00

Mood: Really tired. Playing: Sound of the fans in the computer lab

I'm sorry that I haven't posted lately, or that I haven't written some of you back. Since I've gotten back I feel like I'm climbing up hill - jet lag is still bad, not able to sleep longer than 4 or 5 hours a night. After I found my flat tire, my parking brake broke or is stuck on my car, so I can't drive it to fix it. If you have any ideas, please help.

Actually, this is small news. I have a serious prayer request for you all: one of my best friends here at seminary found out yesterday morning that her dad died suddenly Monday night. It was totally unexpected, and the family is really hurting. All of them are Christians, so they can be comforted with knowing that he is with God and resting in His glory, but it doesn't change the fact that they miss their dad/husband. Please pray for them. Lisa and I drove her home yesterday to be with her family and to stay with them. Lisa and I drove back early this morning so I could go to work, so once again I only got about 2 hours of sleep. I am hoping to get up there this weekend to just stay with her... but I have to get my car working first, and I'm all but broke after my trip. Please pray that God will guide - I trust Him and know that He is mightier than death, bigger than our problems, and His faithfulness is beyond words. Even in this time of great tragedy, God is faithful - the family is finding comfort in that. Please pray that God would continue to pour out comfort and rest onto my friend, her mother, and her four brothers and sisters; that He would surround them with loved ones who can help carry the burden left behind, and for wisdom in what the next step is for all of them.

Back and In Action!!

2005-06-06T05:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, I stopped blogging on this server in 2003, since I had been using my old Blogger account to record my experience in Thailand ( http://donnawonna.blogspot.com ). Since then, I started blogging at Modblog.com, an excellent site, except that many of the seminary blogging community uses this blog server so I feel a little out of the loop. Since it is summer (and I am currently jet lagged and wide awake at 2:22 am), I decided in my sleep-deprived mind that keeping up with two blogs would be feasible - I would just copy one entry to the other. Sounds simple enough? Yeah, I thought so too... I guess time will tell.

Okay, guess to start off I am going to copy and paste my latest post to this blog. I just got back late last night from Japan - I had an incredible opportunity to go on a one-week mission trip to a little town of Ozu, on the southern island close to the volcanic mountain, Mount Aso. It was an incredible opporunity, and I was so blessed by my team and the church members that we worked with. It was a whirlwind of a week - several bible studies to attend, church worship services to help with, and campuses to visit. We ended the week with a coffeehouse that we advertised through the town, at the home bible studies (many that attend the bible studies have never been to the church), and at a couple of local campuses. It turned out very well - all of us are musical and that was the biggest thing we did. I gave a gospel presentation at the coffeehouse, which went really well (after a week of wrestling and prayerfully considering how to present the message in a culturally sensitive but effective way). It was very encouraging - several of the church members and others encouraged me to pursue missions, which has been on my heart for a couple of years now. Anyway, there is so much that God did in, around, and through us - it would take too long to bring it all up. However, I did post the highlights and lowlights of my trip on my other blog while laying over in Tokyo on my way home ( http://donnawonna.modblog.com ) so I will copy them here for your viewing pleasure. Please continue to pray for the amazing church there and for their efforts to promote the cause of Christ to their community. OH, and I should be posting some pictures from the trip on my website soon ( http://www.geocities.com/sporkchick ) so check them out when you get a chance. The mountains were breathtaking - and the volcano was pretty cool. Okay, that it for now... here are the highlights and lowlights of the trip:

Highlights:
- The food: more sushi than I could eat
- Spending time with church members
- Sightseeing in the mountains, especially Mt. Aso, the world's largest volcanic crater
- The Yen Shop (equivalent to the Dollar Store in the States)
- Sharing the gospel; wrestling in what to say, how to say, wholly resting in God's direction and peace
- Sensing every decision as call to obedience for Christ
- The onsen (hot springs from the volcanic mountain - like a natural jaccuzi)
- Waking up two nights ago to a earthquake that hit 4.7 on the Richter scale - but going back to sleep, assuming we were supposed to ignore it (whoops)
- Working alongside Japanese Christians and being humbled by their deep commitment, servant hearts, and love for others
- Being able to pick up some Japanese by the end of the trip
- Working with my team, learning how to put together and implement a mission trip through working out with fear and trembling
- Playing djembe with some Japanese students in a African drum club at Kumamoto University campus
- Seeing God use my testimony to touch and encourage others

Lowlights:
- Getting tired of the food - wanting a burger or something other than fish, rice, or beans
- Long layovers - including this one (9 1/2 hours)
- Getting motion sickness almost every day in the car (the vehicles are so small and the roads were through the mountains where we were)
- Jet lag
- Language barrier
- Not being able to talk much with some of the church members and people we met
- Having an allergic reaction to some Thai green curry at the Tokyo airport; luckily I was equipped with Benedryl so my throat didn't completely close up and I was so drowsy from the meds that I slept the whole flight back to Dallas

Overall, it was an amazing experience, and I am so thankful for every moment- highlights and lowlights. It was all for my sanctification, to know God and to desire Him more every day. Continue to pray for the people of Japan: for the Christians to stay strong and keep growing, for the rest to come to know Him and experience true life, true love, and true hope.